Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 2 Day 287

“Time and again the Bible calls upon us to worship Him “with all thy heart.” “Walk before me, and be wholehearted” (Genesis 17:1). “Thou shalt be wholehearted with the Lord Thy God” (Deuteronomy 18:13). “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy might” (Deuteronomy 6:5). And yet it seems that the Biblical man was disturbed by the problem of whether man is at all capable of serving God wholeheartedly.” (God in Search of Man pg. 390)

The last sentence above is, I believe, at the heart of our issues today, as is true throughout our the human experience. Being “disturbed at the problem of whether man is at all capable of serving God wholeheartedly” gives us the opportunity to examine our actions, gives the challenge of maturing our inner life, and gives us a basis upon which to do our T’Shuvah/inventory on a daily/yearly spiritual exercise. Being disturbed is not a negative as I am hearing Rabbi Heschel, it is a chance to ask ourselves both difficult and appropriate questions as well as seek solutions to the challenge of the Bible. Understanding the call of the Bible, as Rabbi Heschel helps us hear it, means we are in the process of “serving God wholeheartedly” and the fact that “Biblical man was disturbed” means we are to ask ourselves the hard question: what does it mean to serve God wholeheartedly in this moment, in this situation. Asking ourselves this question leads us to serve God with everything we have in the moment, or not. It demands we make a choice as to whether to serve falseness, mendacity, be self-serving or to serve truth, authenticity, God.

In this month of Elul, this question helps us determine how our actions in the past year served God and served self-seeking. It also provides the opportunity for us to chart our course for the year to come. We need to be “disturbed by the problem” so we can “interfere” with our normal ways of living, so we can, as the Latin root teaches us, be”utterly disturbed” with our actions of half-heartedness, with our actions that were/are self-seeking and self-centered. Today and everyday we are being called upon by Rabbi Heschel, by Torah, by the prophets, by the Bible to live into the challenges that this day presents us with. We are called upon to leave the comfort of our everydayness, the comfort of our facades, the comfort of our self-deceptions and journey through the wilderness of truth, the inner work of service to God, the joy of wholeheartedly serving something greater than our own selfishness. Being disturbed helps us question ourselves to grow spiritually, to grow in our ability to further our journey to wholeheartedness, in relation to God,  in relationship with ourselves. We have become so used to the lies and deceptions of ourselves and everyone else that we have lost the ability to be disturbed by our “phoning in” our wholeheartedness towards God and towards caring for the needy, the poor and the stranger inside of us and in another(s).

Rabbi Heschel disturbs me always! He gives me new and different ways to understand how to live well, how to live into the greatness of being human. As he describes the words of the prophets for himself, he too gives all of us “a bad conscience”. The wonder and awe of his teachings, above and throughout his books and writing, is he demands we constantly seek to improve our humanity, we constantly grow in our connection to God, we consistently live the gratitude for life out loud and in our actions. We are so used to giving lip service to gratitude, to the principles of the Bible, we buy into the deceptions of people in power, in friendship, the deceptions of our religious leaders and the deceptions of self.

In recovery, we are constantly disturbed by our self-seeking, self-centered actions both prior to our recovery and those we still engage in. Just ‘not using’ (in whatever form ‘using’ takes) is just not enough. It is a start and an important first step, yet, we know that we have to “continue to grow along spiritual lines” and “we seek spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection”.

I am embarrassed by the times when I wasn’t disturbed, when I believed I was right, believed myself 100%! While I knew how imperfect I was/am, looking back through the lens Rabbi Heschel is giving us, I am acutely aware of my hubris, my lack of humility, my need to be right, etc. I am sorry to all who had to suffer my arrogance. While my wholeheartedness continues to grow as I grow along “spiritual lines”, I am proud of the myriad of times I sought counsel, I asked for opinions, I collaborated with people to find the best way to serve God and to serve people with my whole heart. Looking ahead, I am committed to be more wholehearted in my serving God and people through growing my inner life more each day. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark