Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 2 Day 297

“Disguised polytheism is also the religion of him who combines with the worship of God the devotion to his own gain, as it is said There shall be no strange god in thee(Psalms 81:10), on which our teachers remarked that it meant the strange god in the very self of man(Bahya Duties of the Heart Chapter 10)(God in Search of Man pg.392)

How is it possible, after history has shown us the fallacy of believing in and worshiping “the strange god in the very self of man”, we continue to believe in and follow the “strange god” in ourselves and/or the “strange god” in another(s)? Reading ‘the polls’ and seeing how a proven liar, a grifter, a man who tried to destroy our democracy is leading the pack in the Republican Party presidential nomination race, how he is neck and neck with the current President, how he is indicted in 4 separate jurisdictions, it is amazing to many people that we are so unwilling to acknowledge the “strange god” within us so we fail to see and reject the “strange god” in another.

I have been pondering this phenomenon of “strange god in thee” and realize the Psalmist was cautioning us to not follow our rationalizations, to let go of our need for certainty, to seek truth rather than falsehood, to wrestle with God, with humans and with our own inner chaos in order to serve God and not “the strange god in thee”. It is a difficult journey, it entails our need to know what is unknowable, it means we have to worship God and not need the results to be ‘our way’, it calls to us to engage in being in the solution and understanding the results are out of our control, it means being human. Yet, time immemorial, we reject our humanness and try to be god, hence the “strange god in the very self of man”.

Our inability to admit our powerlessness, our lack of control of people, places and things, our fear of being uncertain, of not knowing all the answers, etc gives rise to our false fears, our feelings of shame, and these lead us to seek “strange god” in another and/or ourselves. This is how, smart people, people of faith, can be ‘led to the slaughter’ of their goodness, their humanness by the charlatans who preach hate and call it love, preach separation and call it Godly, preach separation and call it community, who call themselves ‘servants of God’ while truly seeking to serve themselves.

We are in the month of Elul with only 17 days left till Kol Nidre, isn’t it time to get busy with our own inventories, with seeing how and when we missed the mark and how and when we hit the mark, rather than continuing to blame anyone else, rather than continuing to look outside of ourselves for “bad guys” who are the source of our troubles? This month in the Jewish Calendar is for all of us to use the forces of compassion, mercy, truth that are so prevalent at this time of year and look inside of ourselves, find the “strange god” within us, repair the inner damages that lead us to follow this “strange god” and regain God’s vision for us, attach ourselves to our authentic self more, immerse ourselves in a spiritual discipline that includes prayer, T’Shuvah, pursuing justice and right actions, caring for the stranger, the poor, the needy instead of hating them and jailing them, releasing ourselves from our self-deceptions and following the deceptions of another(s).

Last night our film, “The Jewish Jail Lady and the Holy Thief” was shown at Congregation Beth-El of Montgomery County where my daughter, Heather, is the executive director. Watching it again brought the painful reality of the wreckage my combining my worship with my own gains, it brought the power of the “strange god in” me and how I used it to harm so many people who loved/love me. I have done T’Shuvah with Heather, with family and friends, and I still am haunted by myriad of ways this “strange god in” me can rear it’s ugliness and destruction. I am aware that even while serving people, even while being part of the holy work of Beit T’Shuvah, I still gave into the “strange god in” me and the “strange god in” another(s). I am so remorseful for those times, I see how those actions led to harming people and harming me. I have made my amends where and when I could, I have accepted the rejection of these amends by the few who have rejected them, I also have forgiven everyone who followed the “strange god in” themselves and harmed me, themselves and everyone else around them. It is not my job to be judgmental, it is not my place to be “holier than thou”, it is my place to understand, to have compassion and to repair myself and the errors I have made. I can only be a help/guide for the people who have sought me out in past years, who seek me out today. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark