Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 230

“Old age is a major challenge to the inner life; it takes both wisdom and strength to not succumb to it…In terms of manpower he is a liability, a burden, a drain on our resources.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.73)

This teaching by Rabbi Heschel is as true today as when they were written in 1961. While not being sure when one is considered to be in “old age”, as I am almost 73 and do not ‘feel’ old nor consider myself old, a cottage industry has grown up around “old age”. Be it the myriad of retirement communities, one of which I live in, or the assisted living, independent living homes that populate every medium and above city, or the different companies offering to be the companions for the ‘elderly’ so they can “stay in their home”, or the many scams perpetrated upon older adults, people see “old age” as an opportunity to take advantage of people, rather than honor them.

Given the situation we all face in “old age”, it “is a major challenge to the inner life” because we no longer have career to define us, our children no longer ‘need’ us as they did prior to adulthood and, in many cases, even though they love us, they have their own busy lives to attend to. We have to re-define our self-image because they image we had of busy, relevant, needed, fades for many people in “old age” and it is a startling discovery. We are transitioning to a new phase of living, we are being transplanted into a new life, new way of being, and we have to engage our inner life to not lose our sense of self, to not succumb to the societal notion of being a burden, a drain, and easily forgotten.

Our health system decides at some point in  “old age” it is not worth the cost of tests or the risks involved to check for colonoscopy, for different heart scans, for any costly testing to prolong wellness. Rather they rather get the money for the sicknesses that might have been prevented because that is more economically sound and helpful. Medicare deems some tests not necessary as well and even is unwilling to pay for interventions that will save millions of dollars that are needlessly spent on health issues that could have been prevented. It is insane and a waste-yet, when society sees “old age” as a liability and a burden, why not let them die?

Another issue is how “old age” is treated in the work force. Unless one is living in an areas that cater to ‘older adults’, most places are constantly seeking to replace people of age with younger people because the younger people are paid less money as a rule. With age and longevity, one has wisdom and a knowing of customers, of the company and of how to work smart, hard, and be of service. Today’s companies are seeking to fill a spot and believe workers are interchangeable, provided the skill set is similar, ignoring the fact that their older workers have a skill set that is far superior to the younger people by the mere fact of their experience and wisdom. Rather than have a younger person learn from an older worker, companies are putting younger people who know less in charge of the older workers in order to get them to quit. Some even have mandatory retirement ages so they can stop paying the older workers the higher salaries that longevity at a company brings! Another experience is when people who start companies, who have been integral in the expansion of a business, a service, are considered ‘behind the times’ or ‘the past’ and it is decided to take the business/service in a ‘new direction. The very people who helped the company grow are considered a “liability” and a “drain”!

These examples and so many more are reasons “old age is a major challenge to the inner life”. “It takes wisdom and strength to not succumb to it” because it is so easy to fall into the abyss when one sees oneself being treated as less than human, as a throw-away item, as ‘past their expiration date’ and are being treated as such by society, by family, etc. Much of this treatment is not overt, it is subtle, it is the phone not ringing, the advice not sought, the opinion tolerated, etc. We, ‘older adults’ have the luxury of time to engage more in our inner life and for those who have ignored it up until now, it is imperative to grow our spiritual living so we can cope with the indignities that “old age” brings both physically and emotionally. We are not going to ‘enjoy our golden years’ without some “wisdom and strength” in our “inner life”, we are going to sink into the morass of misery, of bewilderment, of loneliness, of feeling useless and unmoored unless we tether ourselves to a strong spiritual core and a spiritual community that sees our value and our worth. “Old age” doesn’t lesson our infinite value and dignity nor our uniqueness, I would suggest it heightens these and the sadness is society’s inability to engage with us.

I am thinking of the times when I did not call my mother because I did not want to hear her complaints and when she lectured me, how often I wanted to just hang up. I now see it was her way of seeking to stay relevant. While I wanted to ensure her dignity as she grew older, I didn’t always honor her cries and I am saddened by this truth. I know that I am dealing with ‘the phone not ringing’ and the lack of response to my offers to help, my ideas for making my new corner of the world a little better, and seeking new ways to use my creative energy. It is hard at times, especially since I believe I am still vibrant and relevant, since I believe I still have wisdom to impart and, no one to impart it to-hence I write this blog each day-to introduce everyone to Rabbi Heschel’s teachings and the ways I live into them and the ways in which many people in recovery and those not needing recovery from substances,  have been helped by them. I keep using wisdom and strength to not succumb to the challenge of “old age”. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark