Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 234

“Human existence cannot derive its ultimate meaning from society because society itself is in need of meaning. It is as legitimate to ask: Is mankind needed” as it is to ask: Am I needed?” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 76)

The words above seem prophetic to me, given at a White House Conference on Aging in 1961. There was a knowing of the issue of aging some 60+ years ago and, as so many revolutionary thoughts and actions of the 1960’s, it was put on a shelf to collect dust. Aging back then was thought of in terms of reaching one’s 70’s maybe 80, unlike today with the plethora of Centenarians, people living active and aware lives into their 90’s. The issue Rabbi Heschel is speaking about has only grown both deeper and wider.

“Society itself is in need of meaning” is an apt description of where we are today as it was then. In the 60’s, with the help of Religious leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Daniel and Phillip Berrigan, Rabbi Heschel, Rev Jim Lawson, et al, we had a group of people who sought to put meaning and purpose into society and they were fought at every attempt. Whether it was the draft, the war in Vietnam, Civil Rights, Voting Rights, white society was afraid of change and wanted to enshrine the status quo. Even the victories that were won, even the myriad of meaning and purpose the movements contributed to society have been undone in the name of progress(?).

We, older people, are the generation that directly benefited from the “greatest generation”, that heard the stories of survivors first hand, that saw the pain and anguish on the faces of our fathers when any son was drafted because they knew the horrors of war and could not even talk about it most of the time, must be the ones to stand up now and demand that society hears us, that society recognizes how much we are needed so that society can respond to the first question above in the affirmative.

We keep hearing about the newest and the fastest, the hippest and people have made fortunes from being ‘celebrities’, witness the Kardashians, Paris Hilton in her youth, etc. We assume from the stories they tell that what is important is being noticed, which speaks directly to their need to be needed. Celebrity status seeking is another attempt to be relevant, to let people know someone is available to fulfill your fantasies and dreams vicariously and this is the way the “celebrities” believe they are serving society and, of course, filling the hole in their soul of being needed. The problem, of course, is their hole is so large there is never enough from society for it ever to be satiated, never enough adoration to make their need to be needed subside, there is only more, more, more. The fact that we run to make these ‘celebrities’ feel important, follow their every move, and fulfill some fantasy while ignoring the “older” people who have wisdom and experience, lessons and failures to impart is ridiculous and proves the first sentence above.

We, older and younger people, need to let go of our need for societal recognition. We have to begin to recognize our self and the self next to us, in front of us, behind us, around us. We older adults need to impart the folly of trying to follow society, trying to lead society in its quest for vapidness, how having all the money and power in the world doesn’t lead to inner joy and happiness, rather it leads to paranoia and fear, that it could go away in a moment, it leads to authoritarianism and the worship of conspiracies, etc.

We, older adults, have an obligation to impart the knowledge we have gained through the myriad of failures and successes, lost connections and the ones made, through paying attention to our inner life and intuition. We are being called upon to demonstrate to ourselves and to the next generations that we are not just “Tik-Tok Grannies”, we are people who are still wrestling with the issues of how to live well, we are still wrestling with how to find an inner acceptance of life at our age, we are still seeking to be relevant not for egotistical reasons but for service reasons. Our being needed is not about what we can do, rather it is about what we can give. Because we did not know this earlier in life, we have to, are compelled to offer this truth, this way of being to the next generations so they don’t waste as much time as we did to find this out.

We Are Needed! Full Stop. The teaching above is important to me because it is so easy to fall into the lies and deceptions of ‘societal norms’ and to base my worth and existence on what another thinks. I am, and have been, seeking to find the place that I am needed in this era of my life. Hence, I keep writing every day, usually between 4 and 5am. I am compelled by a sense of purpose and meaning, I am compelled by knowing this is my platform and the numbers don’t matter-only if I can touch one person, even if that person is me. Writing has always been a good way for me to figure out what is needed, where I am needed and finding the meaning and purpose of this moment and this day. I continue to use Rabbi Heschel as my guide because he speaks to all of my parts, even the part that is hidden from most people, my inner sanctum where I and the Ineffable One are alone. My experiences over my lifetime so far have shown me the vapidness of society, they have shown me the pain and trauma I experience every time I believe ‘society’ has accepted me and is listening to me, every time I erroneously believe I am seen and then find myself rejected and exiled. One would think I would have seen the pattern years ago and ended my Quixotic quest. Today’s teaching has, I hope, finally opened my eyes completely and I know I am needed and I need individuals, not society. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark