Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 298

National Month of Repentance and Change

“Through the forgiving hand of God, harm and blemish which we have committed against the world and against ourselves will be extinguished, transformed into salvation.” (Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity pg. 69)

This teaching by Rabbi Heschel is a way of encapsulating the Talmud’s discussion about “great is repentance”. It brings us comfort, truth and a new way of looking at ourselves, the universe, divine energy, higher consciousness-how ever you want to perceive the power of the cosmos that is greater than us.

Rather than seeing God as “punishing”, “vengeful”, etc Rabbi Heschel is reminding us of the prophets calling out to us to “return” to God, that God wants our return as we say 3 times a day except for Shabbat in our prayers. Each and every prophet calls out to us ,as they did to the people in their era and every ear since, “God wants to heal our backsliding”, God wants to take us back in love and with love. This period of repentance and change is not to be feared, rather it is to be welcomed back home, a return to the fold, a new response to the lies we have been telling ourselves. God forgives-full stop, are we ready to accept this forgiveness is the question facing us, are we willing to be in truth with ourselves so we can accept the forgiveness of the universe for the “harm and blemish we have committed against the world and against ourselves”?

This is the great challenge of the prophets, of these days of repentance and change, to be in truth with ourselves and with our spiritual guides, with the people who surround us and love us about the missing the marks we have committed, about the blemishes we have put upon them, upon the world, upon ourselves; the harms we done to our inner lives through self-deception and buying the deceptions of another(s). We get to look at our year through the refraction of God’s “forgiving hand”, through the whole story of good and not good that we have done in this past year. Being in truth with ourselves, with another human being is the greatest challenge we face and, as Rabbi Heschel, the Talmud, those of us who have engaged in this challenge will say-it works! Being in truth with those around us, with ourselves changes us, changes people. Giving someone the opportunity to hear our remorse over the harm we brought them, the blemish we put onto their dignity, is a gift that no one can adequately describe. This opportunity is a repayment, a restitution of what we stole from another person(s), and it also gives the person the opportunity to forgive, to let go of the hurt and blemish they have been carrying-whether they are aware of it or not. Whether there is a full reconciliation, whether the other person chooses to forgive us or not is immaterial to the spiritual healing we bring to them, to the world, and to ourselves. We are doing the next right thing and we have no control over the results-hence “through the forgiving hand of God” we are healed, and, hopefully, the other person has some healing whether they forgive or not. Our blemish and harm is “extinguished” from the world, from our inner life. What a gift repentance is, what a joy it is to be in truth with ourselves, do our inventory, repair, change and know that our errors are not forever!

The last phrase in the words above are the most difficult for many to apprehend, to appreciate, to take in. While the entire sentence is difficult for people who only want to “get even”, who believe repentance and the words above are “not fair” because there is no ‘punishment’, the last phrase makes no sense to most. Humanity has, forever, wanted to get even, wanted to punish, wanted their “pound of flesh”. We feel like without this we are never vindicated. While it is important and necessary for a society to have a justice system, many of the crimes we incarcerate people for today were torts in the Bible because theft is between people, not the ‘State’, etc. Yet, we want ‘the bad guys’ (whomever we believe harm us, hold us to a standard we don’t want, call upon us to do the next right thing, do bad things) to “get theirs”. We want to see a tit-for-tat and, in some cases, a death for an eye, instead of “an eye for an eye”. We have become a society that likes to be victims and/or victimizers. We blame our situation of upbringing, on societal norms, on ‘just business’, etc and those of us accusers fail in most circumstances to own our part so we can be forgiven and our seeking justice is the tempering of justice with righteousness, mercy as the Bible teaches us.

The last phrase allows us to become whole again! It is the unconditional love, the never breaking of the connection with higher consciousness, with higher power, with the Ineffable One, that allows us to be not only forgiven, not only to have the blemishes and harms we wrought healed, we get to take the energy and transform it into salvation. Our confession, spoken out loud, can help another person do their work of repentance, our confession can help another person heal from the blemishes we have caused and/or the ones caused by another. Our confession transforms our “less than” attitude about ourselves into a “can do” attitude, it allows us to see the infinite worth we carry and it transforms the shame and guilt we feel back into the dignity we were born with and have never lost. Our confessions and God’s “forgiving hand” opens our eyes, our hearts, our brains to hear, see and feel the call of our souls, it gives our spiritual life a stronger voice and we learn a little more each year how to listen for this voice, how to ‘go with our gut’ and how to use the energy we made blemishes and harms with to do good and be kind.

I have received the “forgiving hand of God” all my life and have been aware of it for the past 37 High Holiday Seasons. I am not free of blemishes and harms inside nor have I stopped causing them to another human being. I am deeply sorrowful for the people who have not been touched by “the forgiving hand of God” and I pray that those I have caused harms and blemishes to in this past year and before know that I am remorseful and I have used the energy to do more good. 37 years ago, I made a commitment to the universe, to my self that I would transform the energy that caused so much harm, with the help of God, of recovery, of living a Jewish life. I have lived into this commitment while not fulfilling it completely. Yet, I know I have been forgiven by the universe, I know I have transformed by “hustler mentality” to serving people rather than stealing from them. I know I have healed most of the “less than” lies I have told myself over the years and I know I have no power over what another thinks of me. I know that it is my responsibility to forgive another and I hereby forgive anyone and everyone who I believe has harmed me- I want no one to suffer on my account and I pray for their transformation. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark