Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 2 Day 291

“One may observe all the laws and still be practicing a disguised polytheism. For if in performing a religious act one’s intention is to please a human being who he fears or from whom he hopes to receive benefits, then it is not God whom he worships but a human being.”(God in Search of Man pg. 392)

Looking at the “blue moon” of last night/this morning reminds us that we are in the middle of the month of Elul, we are beginning the ‘home stretch’ to Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. Immersing ourselves in Rabbi Heschel’s wisdom above gives us the opportunity to look at our intentions, our motives, our actions and ask ourselves: whom are we serving? The challenge Rabbi Heschel’s teaching is giving us is to review our actions truthfully and determine if they were actually “religious” or self-serving, were they serving God or another human being for our gain, safety, etc.

Throughout the millennia we can see how we have come to “bow down or bend over” in accordance of the original meaning of worship. In Hebrew, the root of the word is “to serve” and “thanksgiving”. Using these definitions, we can begin to see when and where we have confused worshiping God with worshiping people, when and where we bow down and serve human beings from a place of fear and benefit, reward and punishment. It is crucial for us to discern the difference between giving thanks to God for everything in our lives, letting go of our erroneous rewarding and punishing God images, and review our actions this past year(s) through the lens of how we “bow down” to God in reverence and joy, how we “bend over” to fulfill God’s will instead of our own, how we seek “to serve” something greater than ourselves, and how we participate in “thanksgiving” offerings, no matter the results of our efforts/actions.

Rabbi Heschel’s call to us is to end our confusion between serving God and serving human beings for our gain. Religious acts bring us closer to our authentic selves when we take them in the name of God, not in the names of fear and/or personal benefit. We are taught by Antigonos of Socho: “Be not like servants who wait upon their master in the expectation of receiving a reward, but be like servants who wait upon their master in no expectation of reward”(Pirke Avot 1:5). Our serving human beings and/or God “with the expectation of a reward”, relieving our fears and/or receiving a benefit is the same as the first half of this teaching. These, as I am hearing Rabbi Heschel today, are not religious acts and we have come to call them such, unfortunately. As we approach the last half of Elul, as we make a “searching and fearless inventory” of the past year(s), it is crucial for us to discern the actions we have taken and will take that are actually done “in the expectation of receiving a reward”. These actions are not in service, they are not taken to bow down, bend over, nor be thankful to God, they are actions in service of ourselves, bowing down to our fears, being thankful for some personal gain, bending over to be rewarded by another human being.

It is time for us to be truthful with ourselves, with another human being and with God, as the 5th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous guides us to be. It is time for us to see how our self-interest has gotten in the way of serving God, of doing the next right thing, of living into God’s will, the teachings of the Bible, the New Testament, the Koran, etc. It is time for us to discern the ways we have betrayed our souls, betrayed our family, our friends, our democracy, by being a person who serves God and/or human beings “in expectation of receiving a reward”. It is imperative, if we are to save democracy, if we are to save religion, if we are to save community, if we are to save ourselves for us to engage in this inventory, to make our amends to ourselves for acting out of fear, whether it is fear of being punished or fear of missing out (FOMO). It is imperative to make our amends to human beings for giving them the false idea that we worship them, for feeding their egos to the point they believe their own BS, for betraying them by staying silent when they needed a spokesperson, an aide, a word.

I have been guilty of these behaviors in the past and I realize this more and more as I write these daily blogs. While I told myself that I stayed in truth, I see where, at times, my actions were in furtherance of my personal gain-keeping a job, making a living, etc., both before and in my recovery. I am deeply remorseful for these times and I see where they harmed me and another human being as my not serving them out of fear/benefit led to separations and anger. I also know my anger at times was not ‘passion’ as I tried to pass it off as, it wasn’t “righteous anger”, it was personal and I am sorry for the anger and the denial. I betrayed God, self and everyone else when I was acting from fear/benefit and I deeply regret these moments and I know I am not living from fear/benefit today. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark