Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 2 Day 93
“While the purpose of the goat upon which the lot fell for the Lord was to atone for the holy, “to make atonement for the holy place, because of the uncleanness of the children of Israel, and because of their transgressions, even all their sins; and so shall he do for the tent of meeting, that dwells with them in the midst of their uncleanness.”(Leviticus 16:6f Sifra) (God in Search of Man pg. 371)
Continuing from yesterday’s quote, Rabbi Heschel is, once again, reminding us to never be so sure of our purity, our holiness. Even the Tent of Meeting and later the Temple had to be atoned for, even our holy places had to be cleansed because of our transgressions, our sins, that we bring into our holy places both as congregants, adherents, even as priests. I hear Rabbi Heschel calling us to account for the ways we miss the mark when praying, when entering into God’s space, and in all of our actions of holiness. We are never so pure that we do not have “to atone for the holy”!
Yet, here we are as we have been throughout history, believing the lies and deceptions of people who wrap themselves in the Torah, the New Testament, the Koran, etc and proclaim their holiness without ever believing they too have “to atone for the holy”. We are so caught up in our self-deceptions that we forget to take these actions, we are so caught up in ourselves that clergy people are afraid “to atone for the holy” lest we lose our flock. True believers need perfection and purity from their clergy so they can feel cleansed by being blessed and forgiven by clergy, they need to see their clergy as living at a higher spiritual level so they can be imperfect, true believers even go so far as believing their faith will make them pure and not need “to atone for the holy”.
Rabbi Heschel’s teaching above is a polemic against this mendacity and our self-deception. I am thinking about the years of opportunity every clergy, including me, had “to atone for the holy” in my sanctuary and we blew by this important distinction. Rabbi Heschel’s close reading of the text in Leviticus, his immersion in the works, the meaning, the spirit of the text should give all clergy, all congregants, all scholars, all laypeople, everyone pause. We are so wrapped up in the lie of perfection, we are so engaged in thinking we are right, we are unable to acknowledge our own uncleanness and we continue to build up transgressions and sins that make our holy spaces impure, make our holy spaces caked with lifetimes of uncleanness and we are oblivious to this situation, we are deceiving ourselves into believing the lies of clergy, elders, and our selves that our holy spaces, our holy places stay cleansed forever. Rabbi Heschel is debunking this myth and demanding we begin “to atone for the holy place” we frequent.
Since God is everywhere, and the Mezuzah, in my understanding, represents the reminder of who’s space we are entering, ie God’s, when we go into our homes, our offices, buildings, etc and when we leave-all space is God’s, isn’t it time for us “to atone for the holy” that is everywhere? As I understand Rabbi Heschel, we have to begin our atonement with ourselves, we have to search our inner life for the uncleanness we have taken for granted, we have to clean up the lies we tell ourselves, we have to let go of the negative self-talk we have engaged in for so long, we have to see ourselves anew and clear out the self-deception and the mendacity of society that we have bought into for so long in order “to atone for the holy place” within us. Just as God is everywhere, so too is God inside of us for we are created “in the Image of God”. I believe this is Rabbi Eliezer’s teaching in the Talmud that we should do T’Shuvah every day, when we do this, we are preventing the schmutz we create from becoming like barnacles on our souls, in our holy places, in the entire world. While many bitch and moan about the EPA, I see their regulations as an attempt “to atone for the holy” of our environment and it has worked, not perfectly and better than no attempt at all.
In recovery, we are aware of the state of our uncleanness, we are aware of our need “to atone for the holy” as we dirtied up our relationships, our holy places, our inner lives to such an extent we could not discern the difference between the holy and Azazel, between what was real and what was phony, what was love and what was expediency. We do our large inventory, our deep dive into the gross uncleanness we have perpetrated and then we “continue to take inventory” so we can do daily maintenance and “keep our own house in order”.
I am trembling as I look back on the ways I didn’t “atone for the holy” and I am heartened by our attempts to have people do their large inventories and look at themselves. I am sad that I could not lead more people to do this and even sadder about my own deficiencies in this regard. I realize that my daily T’Shuvah practice has shown me nuances of my living both negative and positive, I strive to “keep my side of the street clean” and am constantly uncovering and prying off barnacles that have been on my soul, in my inner life for years. It is an exhausting endeavor that infuses me with exhilaration, energy, and exaltation. Rabbi Heschel’s uncovering the truth above is humbling and hopeful, an aha moment and a duh moment. He has, once again, illuminated a truth that I knew and was oblivious to, he has enriched my life with this teaching and I pray yours also. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark