Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 2 Day 133
“Does not goodness tend to turn impotent in the face of temptations? Crime, vice, sin offer us rewards; while virtue demands self-restraint, self-denial. Sin is thrilling and full of excitement. Is virtue thrilling? Are there many mystery stories that describe virtue? Are there many best-selling novels that portray adventures in goodness?” (God in Search of Man pg. 374)
Virtue’s demands are illustrated in every spiritual tradition, in fact, religious and spiritual disciplines are gifts to us in order to learn and practice both self-restraint and self-denial. Of the 613 commandments in the Torah, there are 365 “thou shall not” demands/commandments in the Hebrew Bible with many illustrations as to the consequences of not following them as well as the consequences of following them. As I have often said, we have these “thou shall not” because we would do them if we were not told/commanded not to! We are living in times where people are jettisoning religious living and religions in general because they don’t want to be restrained, because the people ‘in charge’, clergy, lay leaders, etc are using religious living and religious teachings as clubs, as power tools rather than as models for self-restraint and self-denial. Rather than using our holy documents and teachings to elevate our connection to one another, they are being used to elevate a ‘select few’ so this ‘select few’ can enslave everyone else, so they can restrain anyone else from taking their place, so they can deny another their God-given dignity, value, place in the world! Our religious and political leaders need to take a refresher course in self-restraint and self-denial instead of demanding it from the rest of us.
Self-restraint and self-denial are two of the first lessons we learn in the Bible from the Garden of Eden story. Adam and Eve’s lack of both give them the permission disobey God’s command and then hide from their errors. Lack of self-restraint is, as we learn there and throughout the Bible, a human characteristic and we have an opportunity to do T’Shuvah/make amends and learn from our missing the marks so we can change our patterns. We learn the consequences of not changing our ways in the story of the Flood, God is dismayed not just because “man is evil from his youth”, God is also dismayed because our lack of self-restraint and self-denial when it comes to people who are not as fortunate, not in positions of power, and who are in need of our kindness, compassion, truthfulness, justice, mercy, etc. Unfortunately, we have not learned much through these teachings and experiences of our Biblical ancestors!
We are witnesses to the same actions and activities as described in the Bible, as experienced throughout history, so many people are willing to say “we have been through this before, it will run it’s course” and stand on the sidelines. This is another example of a lack of self-restraint-subtle as it may be. Edmund Burke is said to have said: “Evil flourishes when good people do nothing”. By standing on the sidelines and waiting for things to “run their course” we are showing a lack of self-restraint for doing the next right thing, a lack of self-restraining our fears of ‘going against the man’, a lack of self-restraint in wanting to run and hide. We are Adam and Eve, we are the Israelites that allowed Pharaoh to enslave them, we are Jonah, we are going against the demands/commandments that make us free, we are participating in murdering our own spirits, in whoring ourselves so we can ‘stay above the fray’, in lying about and to ourselves, in making false images of self, God, another(s), etc. Self-restraint is about not doing something because it is the next wrong thing, so anytime we “stand idly by the blood of our brothers and sisters”, we are not practicing self-restraint.
In recovery, we know we have to rise above our fears and our anxieties so we can restrain ourselves from engaging in behaviors that will “take us out again”. We know we have to restrain our impulses to stop following God’s Will and just do what we want to do. We have to restrain our impulses to live in our own bubbles and not reach out to help another human being. We have to meet the demand to “carry this message to other alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.”
I am guilty of not practicing self-restraint when I perceive injustice, when I watch as someone takes actions that will harm themselves and another(s). I am also loud, abrasive, and, at times, out of control when I get near people who are hiding and lying. My lack of self-restraint has caused me and people around me great angst at times and it has saved me and many people around me at times. I am not always right in my lack of self-restraint. It is a difficult dance and I will never get the steps right all the time. I do refuse to stand by silently in the face of injustice, when someone is harming themselves, another, an institution. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark