Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 2 Day 260
“In addition to our being uncertain of whether our motivation prior to the act is pure, and to our being embarrassed during the act by “alien thoughts,” one is not even safe after the act. We are urged by Jewish tradition to conceal from others our acts of charity;(Mishnah Shekalim 5,6) but are we able to conceal them from ourselves? Are we able to overcome the danger of pride, self-righteousness, vanity, and the sense of superiority, derived from what are supposed to be acts of dedication to God?”(God in Search of Man pg.388)
The more I/one immerses oneself/myself in Rabbi Heschel’s wisdom above, the more questioning of oneself/myself we are called to engage in. He presents a deep conundrum for us: since one mitzvah leads to another, we have to be aware of what we are doing, take some note of what we are doing, allow the mitzvah to improve, enhance, and mature our inner lives AND, we have to be hyper-aware of “the danger of pride, self-righteousness, vanity and our sense of superiority” that is waiting in the wings to warp our thinking, our actions and our spirits.
It is important to have ‘pride’ in ones accomplishments, I believe. It is important to be able to see that we are one grain of sand better today than we were yesterday. Seeing our spiritual progress, recognizing the good we do, acknowledging our accomplishments, noting how often we say Hineni(here we are) when called upon to do Tzedakah(righteousness/charity), experiencing our connection with God, with another(s) human being, engaging in the good for its own sake at times and being aware of when we are, all help us to keep growing and engaging our spiritual life “in all our affairs”.
Do we get benefits from this way of living, absolutely! Do we live this way for the benefits? This is where it gets dicey and tricky. In the paragraph above, we are living into these “acts of dedication to God” for the sake of dedicating ourselves to something greater than ourselves, for the sake of our spiritual connection, for the sake of answering God’s call of Ayecha, where are you. Yet, many people will deny these “acts of dedication to God” as self-serving and being a ‘show-off’, an “ass-kisser”, a “con man”, etc. Many people look to deride those whose very lives are “acts of dedication to God” in many areas, imperfectly, and these pious people are looked down upon as stupid, as easy to take advantage of, and with suspicion. Many of us keep questioning our goodness because of the pressure from outside, from other people’s derision of our way of being, from our own ‘evil drive’ within us trying to defeat us. We are driven to “pride, self-righteousness, vanity, and a sense of superiority” because of our lack of awareness of the good we can do, the good we are called to do, and the doing it for it’s own sake, living a life where most of our acts are “acts of dedication to God”, rather than self-serving, reward seeking, power grabbing actions.
We are in a state of depression right now, democracy is under attack from the people who have used democratic norms to gain some modicum of power and need absolute power. These are the epitomes of “pride, self-righteousness, vanity and sense of superiority”, Mr. Netanyahu, Mr. McCarthy, Ms Taylor Greene, Mr. McConnell, Mr. Trump, Mr. Kushner, Mr. Putin, Mr. Orban, and their ilk. This type of human being has been with us since our creation and, with the wisdom of Rabbi Heschel, Thomas Merton, the Dalai Lama, et al and the teachings of our spiritual and religious disciplines, we can change, we can live at least 51% in doing the good for the sake of the good, for the sake of our spiritual well-being. We can fill the vanity, ie emptiness, inside with love, with truth, with kindness, with a sense of fulfillment, for today! We, the People, have to hold ourselves accountable for the Good we do, for the righteous actions we take, without falling into “the danger of pride, self-righteousness, vanity and a sense of superiority”.
In recovery, we are aware of the pitfalls and dangers of pride, etc. We are also aware of growing along spiritual lines, we make it a point to look at where we have missed the mark each day AND, where we have done well each day. It is crucial for us to see our progress and not be defined by it, not fall in love with our new reflection, rather use our good deeds of today as ways of paying back God for our lives, for our recovery, and for the ability to change. It is not prideful to acknowledge who we are becoming and the good we do, it is not self-righteous to write books and teach spiritual wisdom without being perfect at it, it is not vanity to reach out and help another human being even when we are not “there” yet. It is crucial to do an “appreciative inquiry” of oneself, as I am just learning about. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark