Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 2 Day 262
“Psychological (and sociological) research has disclosed not only how the motivations of our conduct are entangled in the functions of instinctual desires, but also how the vested interests of the ego penetrate not only moral motivations but also acts of cognition.”(God in Search of Man pg. 389)
On this day after Tisha B’Av, after commemorating the destructions we have wrought through giving into to “the vested interests of the ego”, it is crucial for us to “make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God” as the third step of Alcoholics Anonymous suggests to us. If yesterday was meaningful rather than perfunctory, if we immersed ourselves in the evening and morning of mourning and being accountable and then made this decision in the afternoon of Tisha B’Av, then today marks a new beginning, a new way of dealing with the wisdom above.
We have to acknowledge our “instinctual desires” in order to deal with them, we have to examine our inner lives and see what our instinctual desires are and how we can transform them to serve God, to serve another(s), to serve our higher self rather than just satisfy some craving of self-interest. This teaching of Rabbi Heschel gives us the opportunity to examine the motivations behind our actions, to examine our selves in a mature manner and stop making the excuses we normally do to prove the ‘rightness’ of our decisions and actions.
Rabbi Heschel is calling to us to let go of our ‘need to be right’, to stop validating our selfish motivations, to be aware of the instinctual desires that are motivating us morally and spiritually. Living into his wisdom allows us to see ourselves and our actions truthfully, without the defenses of our ego, of our rational minds. Living into this teachings gives us the opportunity to go through the pain of the examined life, as Malcom X teaches. It also gives us the joy of knowing we can and are serving our higher self, our “good drive”, our neighbor, the stranger, and God. Living an examined life gives us the gift of questioning our motivations, the ability to mature our instinctual desires, and be aware of “the vested interests of the ego”. While difficult to do, while painful to experience, it is the only path to ending our propensity “clothe” ourselves in selfish interests rather than wear the garments of God as Adam and Eve did when they left the Garden of Eden.
We are living in a dangerous era, we are living in a time where, as in the Civil War, as in the times of the destruction of the 2nd Temple, brother is hating brother, senseless hatred abounds, mendacity is the “normal path”, leaders are unable to rise above “the vested interests of the ego” in order to ‘do the next right thing’, everything is tainted with ‘what’s in it for me’, ‘how will this affect me’, etc. Whether it is the current iteration of the Republican Party, the denial of fair and impartial justice in Israel, the bluster of Trump, et al, the refusal of many to hold him accountable, the machinations of Netanyahu, the lies of Putin, the arrogance of Musk, the power of employers, the need of shareholders to put money over people, we are in a deep state of what Rabbi Heschel is describing above.
Yet, we can rise above it! The 11th step of Alcoholics Anonymous teaches us “sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry that out.” We have the power through prayer, meditation, study, immersing ourselves in the wisdom of teachers like Rabbi Heschel, to transform our “instinctual desires” to serve God, to serve one another. We have paths to separate “the vested interests of the ego” from our thinking and our spiritual life. We have the inner strength to constantly examine our lives, to make our amends, to admit our missing the marks, to accept and admit what we do well. We have the wherewithal to change, to let go of our “stiff-neck” way of being. We can all be in recovery. Isn’t this what praying is all about for all faiths, isn’t this what meditation does in all spiritual disciplines?
I know that I am guilty of entangling my lower “instinctual desires” with the motivations of my conduct at times, I am aware of how “the vested interests” of my ego have penetrated my moral and cognitive life. I am sorry for those times and the harm they may have brought. I am also aware that I will never be totally free of either experience. I do know and believe the more aware I stay through study, prayer, meditation, the more I will be able to recognize these conditions and rise above them, as my history attests to as well. I also know living an examined life is not easy, it is painful and it is joyous. Knowing what and when I miss the mark, gives me the opportunity to ‘fail forward’, repair harms and move forward. It also allows me to not wallow in shame nor self-pity. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark