Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 3 Day 302
National Month of Repentance and Change
“The apostasy of the past is matched by the superficiality of today. Is this disappointment surprising? Repentance is a decision made in truthfulness, remorse and responsibility.” (Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity pg. 69)
L’Shana Tova- A good year! Today is the last day of the month of Elul, the last day of our National Month of Repentance and Change for this year. Tonight we begin the new year of 5785 and take the next 10 days to go over our accounting of our soul and ensure we have made our amends and plans to have new responses and commit to the changes we need to make so we live a little better in this new year. What Iran did in Israel yesterday is beyond the pale and a strong response is needed AND care not to start a major war in the Middle East is also important. I don’t know the right response, I just know that Bibi, since Oct.7th (and before) has had the wrong one most of the time.
I wrote yesterday about “the apostasy of the past” and not enough, in my opinion, on “the superficiality of today”. We are witnesses to this “superficiality” each and every day, yet we seem to have a difficult time calling it out, we seem to be unable to express both disappointment and truth. We seem to be afraid to confront the charlatans who purposely misread/misinterpret the Bible for their own power and control, we seem to be afraid to confront the false prophets who use lies, deceptions, fear-mongering to get us to heel at their feet and surrender our freedom to think, freedom to speak, freedom of spirit as well as so many other freedoms. We go along to get along and this is one of the worst of our behaviors of “superficiality”. I have been in Temples, Synagogues, Churches where business dealings are talked about more than prayers are said, where the prayers are said so quickly there is not even a hint of wanting the prayers to go through the person. I have been in these places where the Hazan, the Cantor, puts on an amazing performance and there is no soul, no conviction behind the performance. I have listened as Rabbis, Imams, Priests and Ministers have given wonderful sermons and never allow their own words to penetrate their own being, in fact they speak so well they don’t even notice how they are shaming another(s), speaking to separate rather than bringing people together, portraying themselves as holy while being “scoundrels” and using Holy Texts to live a lifestyle different than the one they preach. I am both disappointed and surprised. I am saddened and keep hoping that our politicians will have a spiritual awakening, that our clergy will have a spiritual awakening, that all of us become aware of both our “superficiality” and our “apostasy”.
We all matter and we all need to realize that no one else can do the work that is ours to do, there is no proxy we can appoint to do the work of repentance that is ours. We have to make “a decision in truthfulness, remorse and responsibility” to change, to make our amends, to restore the dignity that we trampled on to another human being. We have to look at our selves and restore the dignity we scorned that lives within us, we have to restore the connection from our soul’s knowledge to our brain. We are being given the opportunity to see ourselves in the light of our actions, in the light of forgiveness and change, in the light of disgusting “superficiality” and “apostasy” and do something different. It is as important to act on Rabbi Heschel’s words above today as it was in 1936, as important here in America and in Israel as it was in Nazi Germany and Europe. We need to remember a Rabbinic teaching that I am paraphrasing: every person should see themselves as if the world as balanced between good and not good and their next action will tip the scales one way or the other. Our actions of repentance changes the scales of the world. Our actions of repentance will give all of us a clean slate and make the world a safer place to live in for the people we have impacted negatively. Our repentance, when made in “truthfulness, remorse, and responsibility” changes the world around us and changes the world for those we have harmed. We become more human by engaging in repentance in this manner, not worrying about how we look. As we say in AA, you can’t save your face and your ass in the same moment. Repentance is the ass saver God put into the world before the world was created because God knew we would care more about how things look (OPTICS) that substance and how things really are.
I am remorseful to the people who I have impacted negatively with my brashness and loudness, with my language and my mannerisms. I am remorseful for the actions that people have been offended by that were done unwittingly by me. I am remorseful for the actions I took knowingly that were defensive and self-serving. I am remorseful for the abandonment of ways I knew to be right in order to “get mine”. I am remorseful for the actions I took that led to people being deprived of faith, of someone to help them. I am remorseful that my temper, my inability to live with the lies of another led me to explode and be inappropriate. I am remorseful for the actions that separated me from my community. I am remorseful for the ways I pushed people away with my inability to accept their foibles and felt hurt by them. I am remorseful for the missed opportunities to share laughs, thoughts, ideas and moments with people whom I have known for a long time and with people whom I never met. I am remorseful for the times I acted out of “superficiality” and “apostasy”. I am remorseful for the fallout from my wild response to the mendacity in front of me. I am remorseful for the loss of connection I have caused.
My remorse is my way of being responsible. I am deeply sorrowful for the losses I have caused, for the misunderstandings of my actions by some and for the desire to not find ways to repair the damages done by one and all. I am deeply saddened and responsible for the lies that have been believed because I did not stand up and speak my truth. I am deeply responsible for the ways I have not lived into the principles of the Bible. I hereby ask for forgiveness and I forgive everyone who I experienced as harming me. I commit to being in more “truthfulness” in this coming year. I commit to being in less “superficiality” in this coming year. I commit to not living in “apostasy” in this coming year. I commit to being more who I am in this coming year. I commit to be more loving and steadfast in this coming year. I commit to being more responsible by putting myself out there more in this coming year. I commit to staying in the solution more in this coming year and not being the cause of too many problems in this coming year. I commit to being more loving and kinder in this coming year. My repentance and my commitments are made in “truthfulness, remorse, and responsibility.” God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark.