Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 3 Day 305
5th Day of 10 Days of Awe and Repentance
“If, to be sure-as is often the case among us-instead of deliberate decision we have a coerced conversion; instead of a conscious truthfulness, a self-conscious conformity; instead of remorse over the lost past, a longing for it; then this so-called return is but a retreat, a phase.” (Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity pg 69)
Today is the anniversary of the murderous terroristic attack on innocent people on the border with Gaza, Oct. 7, 2023. This attack has changed everything in the Middle East, in the entire world and this was the goal of Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, Russia(who is a partner with Iran, North Korea, China). Thinking about this yahrzeit and the bolded words above, regrading Jews, “a self-conscious conformity” overtakes “a conscious truthfulness” all the time. In the past 9 years, Donald Trump has given this phrase more power in the United States and it dominates the Republican Party of today. When “a self-conscious conformity” overrides “a conscious truthfulness” there can be no repentance, no forgiveness, no adherence to the foundational tenets of religion I am using the ones I learned from the Dalai Lama: love, kindness, compassion, truth, and justice. We have only lies, subterfuge, deceptions and people wanting to have ‘dominion’ over another group, all groups.
Putting together the yahrtzeit of Oct. 7th, the fact there are still hostages in Gaza, Hezbollah rained rockets, Iran sent ballistic missiles, with the need for the Netanyahu Government to engage in “a self-conscious conformity” with the far-right ‘religious’ parties so he can stay in power and stay out of jail, is it any wonder so many hostages have been kept in captivity for a year? Is it any wonder so many (one is too many) have died? When “a self-conscious conformity” is the law of the land, when people hate their neighbors because of politics, when power is more important that human life, a democracy has descended into the depths of depravity that is rampant in Russia, China, North Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, etc. They are in the depths of depravity because “a conscious truthfulness” has been replaced by “ a self-conscious conformity”.
Listening to the news, reading the papers, magazines one can wonder: “how did we get here?” We got here because “a self-conscious conformity” has been rampant in the US and in Israel as well as in the world writ large both the far right and the far left. . Since the beginning of our nation there was “a self-conscious conformity” in dealing with slavery, in dealing with Native Americans, etc. We went along to get along, to preserve our union, etc. We have a long history of exploiting Chinese and other minorities. We have been unwelcoming to the Irish, the Italians, the waves of Jews have been most problematic for many as the KKK hates Jews almost as much as they hate Blacks and since White Supremacy is on the ballot again this year in the form of Donald Trump and JD Vance, we are still dealing with this scourge. Allowing the progressives to deny the right of Jews to defend themselves and live in peace is not helping at all. Watching a political rally we are left wondering are they cheering for their ‘hero’ who tells them how to think, are they cheering for someone who wants to lead us into “a conscious truthfulness”? We have to decide, what realm do we choose to live in, which way of being are we willing to fight for? Many people have chosen, throughout history and today, to fight for a “self-conscious conformity” and they are willing to kill, to die for it. Are those of us who fight for “ a conscious truthfulness” willing to die for truth, to die for basic tenets of the Bible, truth, justice, caring for the stranger, loving our neighbor as we love ourselves, proclaiming freedom throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein, etc?
We can only make this decision if we root out the “self-conscious conformity” that is rampant in our midst and within us. It is hard to be a prophet, it is hard to be a descendant of the prophets, it is hard to go against the grain and call out lies, deceptions and mendacity. It is hard to be ostracized because we make mistakes as happens with people who encounter the criminal justice system, who are in recovery, who admit their errors and make amends. It is hard to grapple with what happens when we break out of the “self-conscious conformity” that engulfs neighbors, family, friends, country club members and we become the outcasts, our children suffer, our business could suffer, etc. This “self-conscious conformity” is so pervasive and strong, it is such an enormous part of society’s consciousness, there are consequences for breaking out of it that most people are not willing to pay. There are many spiritual leaders of all faiths who have led their congregants to recognize and become willing to pay the heavy cost of living in “a conscious truthfulness” through repentance, return and having new responses. These are the heroes to follow, not the charlatans who hate the people Jesus loved, who despise the people Joshua led into the Promised Land, who sh*t on the principles of the Bible, who are deaf to the call of the prophets, etc. We can only do this when we take the time to look inside of ourselves and see where and when we fall into “a self-conscious conformity”, we all do, and devise ways to rise above this state of being, ask for help from our spiritual guides, family, friends, to wake us up when we fall into the ether of “a self-conscious conformity” so we can return to “a conscious truthfulness”.
I have wrestled with these two ways of being for my entire life. I want to be liked, I want to be heard, I want to be respected and I want people to follow me. I also have to speak what my soul tells me, speak loudly and, at times, aggressively, I have to call out the lies and deceptions that I encounter, I have to do whatever I can to promote “a conscious truthfulness” knowing I don’t have all the answers, I am not aware of some of my blind spots at times. These two ‘wants’ have collided within me since I was a young child. The collision has gotten me into more trouble than my legal woes did because it led to them and it has led to my being considered “not right for polite society”, to me being told that I bring “hysterical chaos” to some different situations. I am not a victim, I am not always right- FULL STOP. And, I have a fire in my belly that makes me erupt when I see the “self-conscious conformity” that leads a society to live in deception and mendacity, that allows a group/community to tear down the principles it was founded upon, when a Rabbi is afraid to use the Bible to call out inconvenient truths for fear of losing donors.I cannot “stand idly by the blood of my neighbor”. I have to bring truthfulness and I do my best to stay out of “self-conscious conformity”. It is through repentance that I continue to grow in “a conscious truthfulness”. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark