Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 4 Day 103
“The modern man has not only forgotten how to be alone; he finds it even difficult to be with his fellow man. He not only runs away from himself; he runs away from his family. To children, “Honor your father and your mother,” is an irrational suggestion. The normal relationship is dull; deviation is where pleasure is found.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.19)
OY!! Thinking about when these words were written and given that 67 years later this situation has only grown bigger and bigger, one can be amazed at the prescience of Rabbi Heschel and understand how the experience of Nazi Germany, the lessons from that fine, educated, erudite, cultural land could fall into the rotten, the cruel, the hate-filled, the murderous, country that led to the death of 10’s of millions of people. Looking at America today, watching the horror show that Netanyahu is leading in Israel, we have to ask ourselves: “what are we going to tell our children and grandchildren we did during the attack on democracy, the attack on personal relationships, the attack on our spiritual connections?”
With the advent of technology, being alone seems easier because we can constantly distract ourselves, yet are we alone when we are on our devices? Younger people than I seem to text one another constantly, kids don’t pick up the phone when parents call, they text a message that is pre-loaded onto their phone. With email, texting, the art of connection, the need to see people face to face, to hear their voices, seems to be waning. Yet, every human being is hungry for connection so we go onto Facebook, that paragon of virtue and truth-NOT- and see how many ‘likes’ we get, see how many ‘friends’ we have and pat ourselves on the back for having so many ‘connections’. The problem, of course, is by forgetting “how to be alone”, we have also forgotten how “to be with our fellow” human beings! We are living in the ‘virtual’ world so much, it is easier and easier for an Orange Grifter and his Idolatrous cronies/bedfellows to pick our pockets, to sell us a line of horseshit a mile long and put us under the ether so bad by the time we come out, we are living in a country that is nothing like the one we have known all our lives. The worst thing is that the young people, people who are under 30 have had at least 1/2 their lives living under the lies of Trump, the Tea Party, etc and those who are under 50 have spent 30 years under the rhetoric of war against the democrats who are evil and sinners, thanks to Newt Gingrich. Is it any wonder why people retreat to their devices?
We “find it difficult to be with” our fellow human beings especially when we have disagreements over politics, over religion, over morality and decency. Rabbi Heschel had that rare gift of being able to speak with everyone respectfully and thoughtfully no matter their differences, it is increasingly more difficult to do this as the polarization than Nixon really leaned into is at its full zenith right now. The people, especially Jews, who laud Trump’s bullshit ‘anti-antisemitism’ campaign have “drunk the juice” and are going against their best interests, the best interests of Jews and humanity, and the Will of God as the Bible relates it to us! Being used as a pawn is nothing new to Jews, it has been done to us for the millennia, yet volunteering for it is a rather new phenomenon, I believe. We the People need to engage in a “dark night of the soul” as Jacob did and wrestle with our angels, wrestle with our inclinations, and, upon meeting with our better self, our higher consciousness, surrender to it, ask it for a blessing and be transformed. It is a hard exercise, being transformed by this “dark night of the soul” is the hardest part, it didn’t happen completely for Jacob and it is hard to “nullify your will before God’s will so that God’s will becomes your will” as Pirke Avot teaches and, not impossible. While we will not be perfect, we can and will raise the lows as many of us have.
“He runs away from his family” is also on steroids now. It has been with us forever as Deuteronomy commands a man to treat the first born son of his first wife as his first born even though he may have children with the second wife who he likes better. Today, in modernity, men forget about their children from the first marriage, they walk away from their responsibilities without a care and say “next”. Women carry grudges and anger at being left while not taking responsibility for their part, for not engaging in the solution when problems first arise. We are seeing skyrocketing divorce rates because couples are not being held to their vows by their clergy, by their therapists, by their families, by themselves. The Vows of a Marriage Ceremony are the blueprints for how to make the marriage work, they are the paths of both positive actions each partner commits to take and the negative paths each partner commits to NOT go down. Yet, after the ceremony, most couples never look at their vows again, so the marriage decays, rots, and falls apart.
Instead of running away from family, from connections with another(s), from one’s inner self, We the People have to regain our spiritual foundations. We the People are being called to engage in the “dark night of the soul” with the promise of Hosea, “I will take them back in love” and the promise of Jeremiah, “I will heal their backsliding”. We the People are desperately needed to take back our rightful place in the world as decent, kind, truthful people leading one another forward to “a more perfect union” rather than allow these idolators, these bullshit artists, these mendacious bullies take us back to a time of physical slavery and spiritual enslavement as well. We the People need a spiritual guide to help us sort out the ‘wheat from the chaff’ in our inner dialogues, help us “grow along spiritual lines” and embrace our imperfections knowing they make us more human and connect us more with one another and the force in the universe. We the People are being gifted with knowledge and armed with the experiences and strength of our ancestors so we can stand up for democracy and the dignity, the worth of every human being.
I am guilty of being on devices too much, I can’t stand what is happening, my ADHD kicks in and I surrender to it rather than surrendering to being totally engaged. I am afraid of not being distracted because I know how my intensity can scare people, can come off as anger and rage and, while it is some times, it is a fear and deep sense of failing to help someone else not ‘fall off the cliff’ into the abyss of mendacity and self-deception. I know I too have to change, I work on it constantly and it is tough. Yet, I commit to leaving this slavery as well so I can be more connected to myself and those around me. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark