Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 2 Day 303
“Moses’ saying to Israel, “I stand between God and you”(Deuteronomy 5:5), was allegorically interpreted by Rabbi Michael of Zlotshov to mean: The “I” stands between God and man.”(Quoted by Rabbi Kalonymus Salma Epstein, Maor Vashamesh, Lemberg, 1859 p.29b) (God in Search of Man pg. 394)
As we prepare to begin the year 5784 in the Hebrew Calendar tomorrow evening, this teaching by Rabbi Heschel is crucial to our understanding what the Jewish High Holy Days, the month of Elul, the entirety of the Bible and living Jewishly is about. Our mission, if we choose to take it on, is to keep our uniqueness and diminish the “I” that stands between us and God. Rabbi Michael of Zlotshov, a Hasidic master, is reminding us of our need to serve something greater than our “I” and that something greater is God/the Ineffable One/Power greater than ourselves/etc. All spiritual disciplines have the same goal: to keep our uniqueness, to live into our purpose and keep the “I” in its proper place, keep it right-sized. Our work of T’shuvah, our inventory of what we do well and where we miss the mark, is a path to making this goal a reality. We seem to naturally keep the “I” larger than life itself, we seem to go to the “I” like a moth to a flame, and this teaching by Rabbi Heschel is a great antidote to our natural/evil inclination to put the “I” before God, before another human being, even before our best interests.
This is the lure of authoritarianism, this is the lure of the bully, this is the lure of the deceiver, this is the lure of our own self-deception. By putting the “I” before everything and anything, we get a false sense of self, a false sense of our power, a false sense of faith and spirituality. Clergy fall into this trap when they pontificate and don’t admit their fallibility, when they don’t acknowledge their own “defects of character”, or their own actions that are out of proper measure. When clergy speak in the voice of authority, when they speak in the voice of surety, when they speak in the voice of “there is only one way”, when they speak in the voice of hatred, of unwelcoming the stranger. When they do not take this time to speak in the voice of contrition, of T’Shuvah, of asking for and granting forgiveness, they are speaking from the voice of the “I” and not God, they are standing between humankind and God, in other words, they are the idols that Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, the prophets, et al railed against.
Many of our elected officials, our politicians, speak in the voice of the “I” and want us to believe they are speaking in the voice of Godliness, in the voice of caring and compassion. When we cannot reach across the aisle for the good of the country, when we cannot find compromises that will uplift everyone, we are witnessing the power of the “I” and we are suffering the consequences of this way of being. The “I” is the driving force of “winning at all costs”, it’s the force that did not allow Pharaoh to realize that “Egypt is already lost” and unable to hear his advisors say to him: “Until when will you let Moses be a snare for you?” It is the force that brings the chaos we have been through for the last 12 years, the chaos of the Tea Party, the chaos of Trumpism, the chaos of McCarthy selling his soul for a piece of coal. Yet, at least 30% of our country wants this chaos, at least 50% of our country supports the “I” uber alles!
We are in the home stretch of our Elul work, we are 11 days from Kol Nidre when we ask God to forgive our sins, let us out of the vows we made last Yom Kippur that have gone unfulfilled. While we have the Kol Nidre prayer as the first prayer of the evening/day of Yom Kippur, we have to look inside of ourselves and see which vows we made under duress, ie to please someone else, which ones we made half-heartedly, which ones we made to look good, which ones we made from the “I”, and which ones we made from our souls, which ones we made in true desire to be a better human being. We are asking for all the vows we did not fulfill to be annulled and this is meaningful only when we can see the why’s of not fulfilling them, when we can be in truth with ourselves about where we made these vows from as I have written above.
I don’t have a lot of vows that I need annulled this year because I am in the process of T’Shuvah during Elul and throughout the year. I have kept the most important vow, to me, and that is to lessen the times I put the “I” between me and God, lessening the times I put the “I” between me and you/anyone, lessening the times I put the “I” between me and truth. While some people are unable to see me because of their “I” being so strong and refuse to accept a T’Shuvah from me, I feel sorry that they are so stuck in their “I”. I am grateful for everyone who has forgiven me, over the years, and look forward to 5784 with hope, passion, and purpose. Shana Tova and God Bless and Stay safe, Rabbi Mark