Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 4 Day 67
“The will is not an ultimate and isolated entity, but determined by motives beyond its own control. To be what one wants to be is also not freedom, since the wishes of the ego are largely determined by external factors. Freedom is not a principle of uncertainty, the ability to act without a motive. Such action would be chaotic and subrational rather than free.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.14)
Rabbi Heschel is reminding us of the challenge of truly living free, free from our self-will, free from our “wants to be”, free from our ‘doing what we want when we want’. It ain’t easy and it is doable, at least for moments at a time. The writing above begs a few questions; the first being: what does determine our “will”? While many of us believe we are “in control”, the wisdom above is telling us maybe we have a lot less control that we think. Having a rich inner life and living an “examined life” as Socrates calls on us to do, we can be in truth with ourselves and see how often our “control” is being determined by so many outside forces: upbringing-positive or negative, desires-realistic or not, resilience or entitlement, whims of society, power exerted upon us or by us, psychological make-up and spiritual immaturity or maturity for a few. When “keep up with the Jones’” is the mantra we live by, when “retribution” is our goal, when “making it” at any and all costs makes sense, when using “those people” when referring to another human being or group of people, when “racism, anti-semitism, etc” are seen as good and ways to get ahead-we are not free and our will has been determined by “motives beyond its own control”. Yet, we seem to be unaware of this truth, many people would rather believe the lies they tell themselves, that their ‘leader’ tells them than open up their eyes, circumcise the foreskin of their hearts, and choose life, choose truth, choose blessings. In fact, in America today-more people believe the lie than seek the truth. I believe the reason for this is because truth is messy, it is elusive and it is never complete because as we learn more, we see more and as we seem more we experience more of the truth of every situation. A lie, on the other hand, is clean, it is tight, it is tied in a bow and it never changes, it is easier for lazy people to digest and it appeals to the masses who are lazy regarding growing their inner life and maturing their spiritual health.
The words above could shatter what many people think, especially the second sentence. What could Rabbi Heschel possibly mean when he says “to be what one wants to be is also not freedom”? Isn’t freedom all about ‘being who one wants to be’? Don’t we learn “you can be anything you want to be” from an early age? Are we really trapped when we want “to be” anything we want to be? Of course it is not black and white, there is so much nuance to these words and Rabbi Heschel is correct, I believe! We are so caught up in self when we want “to be” what we want to be that we miss a lot of sign posts, a lot of danger warnings on the road to our ‘being ourselves’ and we often miss the truth about ourselves, the call of our inner life and the success of being human that each and every person has within themselves. We are witnessing today, as we have throughout the history of humankind, the challenge of dealing with our own egos and the egos of another(s). There are many malignant narcissists leading business, governments (Federal, state, and local) in countries across the world. There are many malignant narcissists who are heads of households and hold their children and their spouses captive while they “be” who they want to be at home. There are many on Boards of Directors of religious and non-profit institutions who’s egos are being fed by their power and their “good works” which maybe are not so good because they are serving their egos before serving the needs of another. Clergy as Symbolic Exemplar is a similar trap. Many people go into jobs, careers in all fields including the Clergy as just that-a job, a place to have power, respect, to hide and this is not freedom at all. We have see the effects of this way of being with the widespread clergy misconduct that has been publicized and has been swept under the rug, the alcoholism, addiction, sexual misconduct that clergy and other people in power have committed, When we look at the toxic masculinity that is having a resurgence, the “me too” movement that went too far with accusations that hurt innocent people, the racists and anti-semites in the minority communities fighting one another, the common denominator is ‘freedom to be who we truly are’ when these same people haven’t a clue as to who they are and they are spiritually immature and taking their spiritual maladies out on whomever is near and convenient.
We the People are being called by the words above, by the teachings of all spiritual disciplines, by the Voice on Sinai that is constantly calling to WAKE UP! There is a demand in the universe for truth and for freedom, real freedom and, while we will never get completely free, the path to this goal is laid out for us and it is not through our ego, through our money, through our lies, through our grift, through our strength, etc. They only path for us to reach the goal of “Freedom” is through our inner life, through our souls. Think about Nelson Mandela, he was freer in his prison cell than the guards who were guarding him, the same is true for many others, yours truly included. Everyone doesn’t have to be arrested to find spiritual maturity and everyone needs to “grow along spiritual lines” if we want to be free. Our egos and our wills will never stop being influenced by outside issues and forces, this is not the point. Rabbi Heschel is calling to us, as I hear him this morning, to mitigate these outside forces and not be enslaved by them, to end our checking on ‘which way the wind is blowing’ before making a decision to act, to do the next right thing no matter how we think or feel, to live into the holiness code and learn from the stories in the Bible the best path to take and not be held captive by our egos and wills, by the whims of society, by the desires and needs of the malignant narcissists in our lives. We the People can do this by finding teachers and guides that help us discover the truth within ourselves, help us hear the music of our souls better and play the score that our inner life is writing. Our inner life and our souls make symphonies that rival the greatest composers and most of us are tone deaf to them-this is the tragedy that We the People suffer from daily.
I continue to grow along spiritual lines, I know when I am enslaved by ego and will and I work hard to not be ruled by them and I am not always successful. I continue to seek spiritual guidance, spiritual growth through study, via spiritual guidance, via being of service to another, via this blog. I am not the “to be” I dreamed of as a kid and my life is so much better for it! God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark