Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 4 Day 68
“Although political and social freedom must include all this, even the freedom to err—its true essence is in man’s ability to surpass himself, even to act against his inclinations and in defiance of his own needs and desires, to sacrifice prejudice even if it hurts, to give up superstition even when it claims to be a doctrine.”(Insecurity of Freedom pg. 14)
In the writing above, the first thing that stands out to me is, “the freedom to err”. This is one of the first freedoms we learn about in the Bible, remember the Garden of Eden story, and the last freedom we give to ourselves and to another(s). Our society has been and is so consumed with perfection, with “getting it right”, with the fear of being shamed and deemed unworthy when we “err” that this “freedom to err” has been subjugated to the demand to perform perfectly. We experience the pressure of “getting an A” on every test in school, in sports, in business, in marriage, in our children, in, in, in. We have lost, if we ever had, the “freedom to err”.
Immersed in this thought brings me to an understanding of our lack of “freedom to err”, we misinterpret, misunderstand the Bible’s teachings about consequences for our actions. We also misinterpret and misunderstand the Bible’s teachings about TShuvah. Just the fact that people in the Bible commit errors, think about Cain killing Abel and God not intervening, is proof that we have the “freedom to err”. The story leading up to this homicide shows that we also have the freedom to do better after we err-Cain is told that “sin couches at your door, it desires you much and you can master it”. Yet, this truth goes unheard by Cain and he resorts to killing and then complains about his consequences-never once expressing remorse. Throughout the Bible we have stories and prophecies about the consequences of our errant ways, of the gross errors we will, do and may make, These are not punishments as prescribed by Biblical commentators, they are lessons and prophecies and are a flashing neon sign that we not only have the “freedom to err”, we will always make mistakes.
We human beings are well aware of our imperfections, we have a litany of things we do wrong, not ‘good enough’ that runs through our heads daily, for some of us hourly, for others every few minutes. Yet, rather than understand that we are not created to be perfect, rather than accept our need to “fail forward”, “learn and grow”, we have set up a system that measures success by how much money one has, what is the latest great thing we have done, who is the Greatest Of All Time, etc. The idea that we would willingly and confidently admit to our errors of judgement, actions, our unwitting mistakes of judgement and our lack of knowledge is anathema to our being. Hence the Bible’s direction about TShuvah!
According to the mystics, TShuvah was put into the world before the world was created and I add because God knew we would screw up and need a way back. This is the what God tells Cain, in their first exchange, ‘if you do right, you are uplifted”, showing there is a way back, the major theme of the beginning of the Book of Leviticus is about bringing sacrifices for a physical experience of expiation, Yom Kippur the day of Atonement aka At-One-Ment is the day we can be completely clear and clean for a minute of two. Rabbi Eliezer, in the Talmud, Shabbat 153(a) says we should do TShuvah one day before we die and since none of us know the day of our death, we should do it each day validating that we will take bad actions and they don’t define us. Yet, we continue to make fun of, shame and be ashamed of the errors we make, the ones friends and family make, and we punish people, no matter how much good they have done-one Oh Shit wipes out 1000 Atta Boys/Girls.
We the People have to accept and engage in our “freedom to err” as a gift from the universe, as a truth of our higher consciousness and end our constant loop of shame, guilt, saying I’m sorry and the repeating the same shit over and over again. We have become so afraid to show our imperfections that we have people who will lie about losing elections, being wrong, committing crimes, abusing people, denying rights and decency to “those people”. We the People have to stand up and speak truth to ourselves, we have to stop telling our children that what they do reflects upon the whole family and will make us outcasts AND We, the People have to, in turn, stop making outcasts of an entire family because of the actions of one member! Having the “freedom to err” doesn’t give us license to fuck up, it is only an acknowledgment of our imperfect status, it gives us the experience and permission to repent, restore what we have torn, and find new ways to deal with the emotions, inclinations, etc that these repeating experiences trigger. We the People are being called to stand up to the bullies who make fun of our imperfections, use our insecurities, our vulnerabilities against us and call them out. We the People have to wave the banner of our “freedom to err” and add it to the “Four Freedoms” that FDR laid out in January of 1941: “the freedom of speech, the freedom of worship, the freedom from want, and the freedom from fear”. We the People must demand the “freedom to err” because without it, we will never achieve the other “Four Freedoms”. We the People begin this old/new way of living by doing our own inventories, our own admitting of errors, speaking of our imperfections to our children, our parents, our family, friends, co-workers, communities and governments. Our society has to let go of these old ways of using vulnerabilities against people and embrace the imperfections of self and one another with the responsibility to do TShuvah. In this way, the “freedom to err” becomes a foundational learning experience rather than a foundational hiding excuse.
I have been “free to err” for my entire life and only in the last 38 years have I enjoyed it. I have been ‘beaten’ up by another(s) for my errors, I have paid the consequences for my errors(sometimes more than I think they were worth) and I am still standing, growing, writing, preaching, and teaching. The “freedom to err” has given me access to all sorts of freedoms, the ones FDR speaks of and the greatest one for me-the freedom to learn. It also gives me my unique pathway to fulfill the Biblical paths of living well and overcoming my own errors, change my paths, both external and internal, change my thinking and act my way into a spiritual life that gives me so much more than I deserve. “Freedom to err” has given me the insight and eyesight to know when I am lying to myself, to another(s), and when I am being lied to, it has given me a dedication to truth that I have inherited from the prophets, my grandfathers, and my father. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark