Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Growing our Souls

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 255

“This, then is a most urgent problem: How to convey the inexpressible legacy, the moments of insight, how to invoke unconditional commitment to justice and compassion, a sensitivity to the stillness of the holy, attachment to sacred words.” (Insecurity of Freedom pls 83,84)

“Convey” comes from the Latin meaning “way together”, and the English definitions include: “carry to a place, communicate, make an idea understandable”. Rabbi Heschel’s question above, “how to convey…the moments of insight” is a very important one for all of us. The question assumes we all have “moments of insight”, we all know what the next right thing to do is, we all have a sense of what our Higher Consciousness is telling us, what need we are created to fill, what God wants from us, etc. This means it takes a great deal of inner negativity to draw ourselves away from these “moments of insight”, it is not the ‘easier softer way’ to be negative, it actually goes against our very nature-as I hear Rabbi Heschel calling out to us this morning!

No one is devoid of “moments of insight” and many of us are not willing to convey them from our souls, our guts to our brains. Society seems more interested in conveying the negativity of our minds to the world and denying, decrying those who share and look for a “way together” through their “moments of insight”. Railing against those wanting to join with everyone else’s “moments of insight” to create the mosaic, the amazing quilt called living together in tolerance, in a harmony that brings together the cacophony of each person’s unique melody of their soul. These naysayers are the “populists” of our time, they are against “the elites” even though they graduated from every ‘elite’ institution they want to ban, even though they are the ones with money and are catering to the rich and powerful, even though they want to have complete authority over women’s bodies, minds, over those low-life Jews, Muslims, etc, those criminals who were not born here-even though all of their ancestors were immigrants, legal and illegal. They have made a cottage industry of denying their “moments of insight” and proclaiming their negativity and con games are the ‘real’ “moments of insight”!

While it is easy to blame the populist politicians, we have to look at our institutions, communities of faith, and our families to see what it is that gives these lying deceivers such popularity and a fairly huge following. In our institutions and businesses we see Boards of Directors who are interested in satisfying their shareholders, their stakeholders. In for-profit organizations, if it helps the bottom line, that is all that matters-who cares about the workers, the environment, etc. In non-profit organizations, the Boards of Directors care about how they look to the outside world, demand to follow the “evidence-based” solutions rather than color outside the lines-even though most non-profits were created by people coloring outside the lines. Yet, just like with businesses, non-profit institutions get corrupted by people who are unwilling to find a “way together”, to join in the “moments of insight of those who are being served, doing the work, and/or created the project. Optics is more important than essence for many businesses and non-profits. How sad!

In our communities of faith, we are witnessing the same difficulty of communicating true “moments of insight” and instead we are deluged by simplistic, stupid one-way solutions. “Follow me, I have the answer and all you need to do is believe”, this and other such bullshit has turned many away from faith communities which is the very place where we should be learning how to discern what are “moments of insight” and what are mental gymnastics. For those who stay in these communities, the hubris of clergy, governing bodies, elders, etc that they alone know what God wants, they alone know the One-Way to be is blasphemy! It is saying they are God themselves. What passes as Judaism, Christianity, Islam is so far from the foundational texts and are purposeful mis-understandings of what the people closest to the beginning knew-there are a myriad of ways to understand these texts and it is our job to find the different ‘faces’ that are appropriate for this moment, for this instance. Nowhere does Christ say: hate the immigrant, nowhere does Moses say: it is okay to pervert justice for the ‘greater good’, nowhere does Mohammed say: a Muslim should go against the laws of the land of their residence. Yet, the charlatans and self-declared ‘prophets of doom’ preach these and other such lies! It is way past time to end our reliance on deceit and ‘populism’, it is way past time to end our joy in kicking people when they are down, it is way past time to stop making someone else bad so we can feel good, feel superior.
We have to end our veneration of the strong, the worshiping of the Rebels of the Confederacy, the pity for the Jan 6 rioters who stormed the Capital, who assaulted Police Officers, etc. We have to end our genuflecting at the feet of Navarro, Bannon, Trump, Vance, et al. We have to end our going along with Mike Johnson being a ‘good christian man’ because they are all LIARS!

We, the people, have to listen to the “moments of insight” from our souls that are struggling to get through to our brains. We are in need of seeing Physicians of the Soul to help our sight get better, to enable our souls to speak loud enough for our brains to hear and to give our spiritual insights veto power over the ‘evil thoughts’ of our brains. We have the power to do this within us, we just have to unlock it, we have to nurture it and we have to live it. I know this to be true as I was a con man and a thief, I ruined my life and everyone else’s around me. I only gave heed to my brain until December of 1986-when I was arrested for the last time. My brain was struck silent in a jail cell and I heard a call in my soul that I repeated out loud-“God was trying to tell me something and I had to sit here and figure it out.” This encounter with this “moment of insight” and my ability to convey it to another human being and to myself made me who I am today. It has propelled me to never think I am the smartest in the room, to find a “way together” with another person, a group of people forward in our quest to help an individual heal the spiritual malady they are suffering from. It has kept me together when my world has fragmented, it has made me never suffer from despair and always seek new ways of seeing what is going on. It has allowed me to ask the question: “What is the question this experience is the answer to” so I see each experience as answers/solutions and I just have to find the right questions/problems that fit these solutions. I am constantly seeking to improve my daily living, to listen more carefully to my spiritual awakenings each day and to better “convey the moments of insight” I experience. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 254

“This, then is a most urgent problem: How to convey the inexpressible legacy, the moments of insight, how to invoke unconditional commitment to justice and compassion, a sensitivity to the stillness of the holy, attachment to sacred words.” (Insecurity of Freedom pls 83,84)

The questions Rabbi Heschel asks above have been at the core of human existence since the days of Adam and Eve, or at least Cain and Abel. Given that these words were written and spoken some 60+ years ago, did our parents generation find a solution to “this, then most urgent problem”? Many did as we witnessed the support of Civil Rights, Voting Rights, Rev. King, Bobby Kennedy, the protests against the Vietnam War, etc. the real issue is how we, of this generation of elders, may have not! We became obsessed and focused on “success” and “generating generational wealth”, and raised our children with either privilege or poverty as birthrights. We built more and more gated communities to keep ‘those people, the riffraff’ out of our ‘pristine neighborhoods. We tried to perfect the two-tiered justice system, and other such separations, we forgot the lessons of the previous generation after they saw the horrors in the aftermath of the Nazis and the destruction of Europe by both the Axis and Allies.

Across the globe we are witnessing the replaying of Moses and Pharaoh, arguing as to whether Pharaoh will heed “Thus says God, Let My People GO!!, or will Pharaoh continue to seduce the people themselves into believing they are better off under his/her thumb than being free. “How to convey the inexpressible legacy” of desire to be free, the actual leaving of slavery-inner and outer- and the long road ahead to create an environment of freedom for all, to “proclaim freedom throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein” as we are taught in Leviticus 25:10. We read this each year in the weekly Torah readings not because we don’t know the story, rather precisely because we know the story, we need to live the story out loud, we need to find ways to express this “Inexpressible legacy” of freedom for all, express the “inexpressible legacy” of the end of slavery in Egypt, in America some 3100+ years after the Jews left Egypt! What we are finding is there are many people who want to keep the myriad of “inexpressible legacies” quiet, they are in desperate need of denying the exodus from Egypt, denying the right of Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists to practice their faith (which has happened off and on throughout history), and the need to deny truth, deny the “unalienable rights…to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” that our Declaration of Independence calls for. Like some in the State of Israel, some here have said the Declaration Of Independence means nothing and only the ‘christian nationalists’, the ‘real jews’, ‘the true believers in Islam’ know who should really have those rights and who should not-according to these ‘religious fanatics’, these people wanting their version of what their particular ‘religious law’ says to be the law of the land for one and and all. Rather than “proclaim liberty/freedom” they want to proclaim adherence and slavery and, unfortunately, because they waive the false flag of ‘we will let YOU keep your money’ too many people are selling themselves and the rest of us down the river.

We have seen this movie before, many times throughout history and, we seem incapable of learning the lessons of our legacies with tyrannies, with despots, with authoritarians, etc. We seem to be incapable of truly living into the legacy of Paul Revere, the Adams Brothers, Moses, Aaron, the Israelites, Joshua, Caleb, the Prophets, Jesus, Mohammed, Lincoln, Roosevelts(both of them), Kennedy, Johnson, G.W. Bush, McCain, etc who have found the ways to speak truth to power and listen to truth when they had power. We have watched people ignore this “inexpressible legacy” in favor of ‘winning’, in favor of ‘making a lot of money’, in favor of enslaving/blaming someone else. We are seeing the results of the poor jobs some of the elders of this generation have done in expressing the legacy of freedom, the legacy of unalienable rights, the legacy of democracy and we are seeing the results of those of the current generation who are using the legacies for their own power, for their own greed, in order to be taskmasters, slave owners, Pharaohs! This is one of the problems that have been with us for time immemorial; using the legacies of goodness, justice, compassion, truth, for one’s own benefit, as ‘covers’ for the real agenda which is power, wealth and control. When we “convey the inexpressible legacy”, we have to be careful and aware of how people receive it, we have to ensure, to whatever extent possible, that they do not use the Goebbels method of accusing someone else of what they themselves are doing. We have to ensure, to whatever extent possible, they are not proclaiming evil, good; wrongs, rights; slavery, freedom; etc. It is a hard task and it is our task, we are seeing the fruits of inaction in these ways today as a criminal is immune from his crimes, a party is buying into ‘christian nationalism’ that has the opposite principles of Christ, and a populace who believe these selfish, power-hungry, despots will give them more freedom to..hate, to feel superior to those Jews, Blacks, Muslims, Asians, Hispanics? We, the people, have to rise up, as the Founding Fathers did, as Paul Revere’s Ride did and “PROCLAIM FREEDOM THROUGHOUT THE LAND AND TO ALL ITS INHABITANTS THEREIN!”

I am writing this because the words above stir me to think of the ways I have and have not expressed the “inexpressible legacy” to family, friends, people around me, congregants, and the world. I know I am a small voice with a small platform and I know if I can light a fire in someone else’s belly, as Jeremiah says” then we can begin to effect change. My father did not have enough time to express the “inexpressible” to me and, I hear him speaking it to me daily, I never met nor learned directly from Rabbi Heschel and I hear him expressing the inexpressible to me and everyone who studies with him, I have heard great teachers like Rabbi Harold Shulweis and he, along with Rabbi Ed Feinstein, Father Greg Boyle, John Pavlovitz, Dr. Lisa Miller, Rev Mark E Whitlock have ignited a fire within me that is never quenched nor drowned out. This fire propels me to be bombastic if that’s what it takes, to keep pounding the pulpit until people realize the rank manipulations that the ‘good people’ are pulling, until those who buy into the subterfuge of both the left and the right are able to “lift up their eyes and see” truth, justice, compassion, etc. Human beings need love not absolute control, we need companionship not ass-kissers, we need truth not the lies that make us feel good, we need freedom, not the subtle chains of slavery being promoted.  I pray we all begin/continue to express the “inexpressible legacy” of our families, our faith, our beliefs, our countries, etc. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Growing our Spiritual Life

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 253

“It is easy to speak about the things we are committed to; it is hard to communicate; it is hard to communicate the commitment itself. It is easy to convey the resentments we harbor it is hard to communicate the praise, the worship, the sense of the ineffable.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

The word “resentment” comes from the French with the original meaning being “to experience an emotion or sensation”,  “to feel deeply”, and only in English did it become “feeling aggrieved by”. With these widely different definitions, Rabbi Heschel’s second sentence above is pregnant with meanings and eye-opening possibilities. It is safe to assume that “it is easy to convey the resentments we harbor” is speaking to the feeling of being aggrieved. Feeling bitterness and or indignation towards someone, some group, some idea, is a cottage industry all across the Globe. Hitler used it well, as did Stalin and Putin is a re-incarnation of the two. Le Pen, Orban, Erdogan, MBS, Netanyahu, Trump, Vance, Johnson feed off of their resentments and stir up the crowds to share their resentments as a means of power seeking and power grabbing. Listening to the political rhetoric in this country is a one-stop shopping spree of bitterness and indignation with no end in sight. What is so amazing about many of these shit-stirrers is they are using God, Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, to bolster their false claims and their indignation, resentments, bitterness and feelings of being aggrieved! How sad, how seriously dangerous and what a desecration of God’s name, of the teachings of so many spiritual guides and teachers.

In the New York Times on July 16, 2024, there was a two page article about how children are cutting off their parents because they are “toxic”. It is another cottage industry where therapists charge these adult children to tell them that the problems in their lives all stem from ‘abusive’ ‘traumatic’ childhood experiences. This is not to say that there is not abusive situations and childhood itself, growing into and out of adolescence is traumatic, it is questionable to this writer, and I believe it would be to Rabbi Heschel, that all of this stems from bad parenting. I know people who were treated horribly by their parents and, in their recovery, in their spiritual journey, find ways to heal the rifts, to take their responsibility and allow their parents and siblings to take theirs. Yet, blaming the parents has been a therapeutic tool for some time now and it seems to be reaching a crescendo. While no parent is perfect, isn’t it important to give the benefit of the doubt to our parents who did not kill us, who fed us, who raised us and who loved us to the best of their ability? “Honor your mother and father” is not in the 10 sayings/commandments because it is a natural state, yet, isn’t this the whole point of life- to go beyond our limitations and boundaries to enhance, nurture the spiritual growth of ourselves and another(s) which is M.Scott Peck’s definition of love? I pray there is a reconciliation as we end the words of the prophet Malachi with: “He (Elijah) will reconcile parents with children and children with parents so there is not total destruction”. We all need to own our parts and stop these “resentments” from blinding us to the whole story, to the good and the not good we have done as children and parents. Owning up to our part and seeking forgiveness, reconnection is how we stave off the destructions that so many people who “feel aggrieved” are trying to bring about, be it the destruction of Jews, of Muslims, of Democracy, of kindness and goodness-we all have a part in making the world whole, either again or for the first time-depending one ones’ belief

If we, however, use the original definitions, then it isn’t so “hard to communicate the praise, the worship, the sense of the ineffable.” Of course it is as we have seen throughout the ages-religion is “the opiate of the masses” and religious rivalries have caused more wars in the history of humanity than any other. Even WWII there were religious overtones to it, hence the Catholic Church did not do everything they could have to stop the extermination of 6 million Jews, and so many others, ie. Gypsy’s, Gays, resistance fighters, etc. In America, no one wanted to go to war “to save the Jews”, an idea promoted by the Christian Nationalists. Even with using the original meanings, “to experience an emotion or sensation”, “to feel deeply”, it is difficult for most human beings to express these experiences. How many times do we get tongue-tied when trying to express the love and joy we have just because we are part of a family, because the person who is our partner makes our life better each day-just by being who they are? How often do we realize how much better a room is because ‘so and so’ just walked in?  What stops us from communicating “the praise”, “the worship”, “the sense of the ineffable”? It is our fear of how that will change us, how we will lose our ‘edge’, naysaying is much safer and having resentments means I don’t have to own my shit and I can blame another. “Praise, worship, the sense of the ineffable” all come to life us up, they give us more awareness and more sharpness, we have a clearer vision and ‘edge’ because we are more comfortable with what we know and never have to prove to another because we Know it in our bones, in our kishkas, in our guts. Changing the ways we encounter the world doesn’t mean we are stupid, it doesn't mean we are naive, it means we want to see more of the story, we are seeking truth and looking at our lives and life itself through a myriad of prisms and making decisions based in reality and based in kindness, based in justice, righteousness, love, compassion and cooperation. We are able to seek out the visions of another(s) because we know we are all pushing/pulling in the same direction-toward a greater sense of the ineffable.

I have lived both sides of this coin of resentment. Living the “feeling aggrieved” has always left me empty, miserable and alone/lonely. Nothing good has come from this state except it has given me the awareness of my need to end my ‘poor me’ attitude. I felt aggrieved when my father died and rode it for over 20 years. I felt aggrieved at my mother’s inability to see me for who I am and I rode that for the same 20+ years. In my recovery, I left that side of resentment, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. Resentments have not been the long-lasting fuel of my life anymore-I feel them and I let them go much quicker, thank God and I do this through “Praise, Worship, the Sense of the Ineffable”. I wake up with and in gratitude, I sit down to write this blog with a joy and excitement of what I am going to learn today and I send out “good vibrations” “deep feelings” of being blessed and being loved. I forgave my mother for her shortcomings a long time ago and they don’t run my life anymore, my father’s death still stings as I would love to have one more talk with him and I hear him each day speaking to me, with joy and with wisdom. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 252

“It is easy to speak about the things we are committed to; it is hard to communicate; it is hard to communicate the commitment itself. It is easy to covey the resentments we harbor it is hard to communicate the praise, the worship, the sense of the ineffable.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

In the first sentence above, Rabbi Heschel is calling out to us to know what making a commitment truly entails, what a commitment is. In the dictionary, it is defined as “an engagement that restricts our freedom”, “the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity”, and “a pledge or undertaking”. The word commit in the dictionary has as its first definition, “carry out or perpetrate (a crime or immoral act)” and comes from the Latin meaning “to send with”, “to join”, “to entrust”.

In responding to the first sentence above, we have to think about what is our dedication to and how to communicate this dedication. We have to find ways to explain to another and to our self why and how we are restricting our freedom by our commitments. What are we joining with, what are we entrusted with and entrusting to another human being and a power greater than ourselves, what are we sent with from birth? These questions and more disturb me, they are giving me, and hopefully you, a new way of experiencing my relationship with people, especially the younger people in my life and those I may still reach. The things we are committed to are definitely important and to communicate the commitment itself is as important if not more so. We have to be able to communicate the commitment itself: if we want to follow the dictate to “teach your children”, if passing wisdom and experience from one generation to another is as important to us as we say it is. How will the next generation know how to make a commitment if we don’t teach them what it means to commit-not to “carry out or perpetrate a crime or immoral act” rather to send our whole being into the fray to battle for what is right and true, what is good and holy, what takes care of the poor, the needy, the stranger, the powerless and the voiceless.

I hear Rabbi Heschel call out to us from the depths of his being, from his own insight in 1961 of where we were headed and how the reviling of the generation of people who risked everything to come to America, who knew “the commitment itself” and lived it was  dangerous in 1961 and how much more dangerous and devastating is it now. We have a political party that wants to take us back 50, 60, 170 years to a time in our nation’s history when equality was a joke, when ‘good christian folk’ could freely hate Blacks, Hispanics, Jews, and never be called out about it. We are hearing a political party rail against their ‘enemies’, which are actually just political opponents, accusing them of everything they have been doing for the past 30 years - seeing politics as war, promoting violence like Jan. 6th, etc and people are committed to this way of being, this thing called MAGA-yet once one asks a MAGA “the commitment itself” we find them tongue-tied and inarticulate, deflecting and defending.  When you ask most people to communicate “the commitment itself” we become tongue-tied because we don’t ask ourselves these questions, we just follow along and, unfortunately, we become “excellent sheep”.

We, the people, have to put more thought and energy into what we “join with”, what we “entrust” and to whom, what we engage in and the reasons for doing taking a commitment on. We get married for emotional reasons, most of the time, while marriage is a commitment that needs to be communicated, it is a commitment of spirit, it is a commitment of trust and we “join with” another human being to create a new entity, an entity that, in Jewish thinking, brings together two parts of one soul, a repairing of what was broken at the time of creation, at the time of birth. It is a commitment of knowing and learning each other’s inner life, how to help them and us grow along spiritual lines and a connection that goes beyond all emotional ties. How many people are able to communicate “the commitment itself” that marriage truly is?

We all need to sit down and ask ourselves what is our commitment-not to what, not what is our commitment to-really discern within our selves what commitment is to us, in our lives and are our actions and deeds reflecting what we say commitment is? This is a hard process and a necessary one. As we enter the “three weeks” of mourning net Tuesday to commemorate the destruction of the Second Temple and the fall of Jerusalem we are being called to look at the ways we have destroyed our sense of commitment, our definition of commitment for our immediate needs and desires. We are being called to see how we have constructed immoral commitments, how we have built alliances that will destroy the fabric of our spiritual life. We are also 7 weeks til the month of Elul-the month of doing more inventory and getting ready for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It is the month of making amends and the month of forgiving people who have harmed you. It is the month also to forgive oneself. Forgiving oneself for the bastardization of “the commitment itself” is crucial during the next 7 weeks for without doing this, we will never be able to believe in our ability to embrace “ the commitment itself”!

In recovery, we are recovering our integrity, our commitment to something greater than ourselves. I have found myself unable to contain myself when someone is bastardizing the commitment we have made. A deal is a deal-it can be changed and to change it both/all parties to it have to be part of the change or at least informed of it. I have found myself equally agitated when I have bastardized what a commitment is-not when I have been unable to fulfill one as this is one of our human frailties. What I am agitated with myself and/or another is when a commitment is made and then broken because it is expedient without any notice, when it is forgotten because it wasn’t important enough, when I am reminded of the ways I behaved prior to my commitment to decency. I become bombastic because I remember the ways my ancestors communicated “the commitment itself” through their actions as well as their words. For the older generation of my family-their word was their bond and I have made this my definition as well. I continue to find ways to communicate what a commitment is, the meaning of making it comes from my soul and when I miscommunicate and/or do not fulfill it, I am bereft and when another uses “the commitment itself” to manipulate me or another, I am bombastic. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 251

“The real bond between two generations is the insights they share, the appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet. A parent is not only an economic provider, playmate, shelter, and affection. A human being is in need of security, he is also in need of inspiration, of exaltation and a transcendent meaning of existence.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.83)

The last two sentences above show us the ways to further bring together and strengthen the bonds between generations and the ways to separate the generations more. When the parent sees him/herself as a ‘friend’ to her/his child, when parents see their role as having to “shelter” their children from any harm and/or consequences for their behaviors, when parents believe ‘throwing money at a problem’ will make it go away, when they believe their children are their investment and therefore should give them bragging rights, they should do what the parents say regardless of how and what the child/teen/young adult wants, there is no reason to share “insights”, “moments of inner experience” nor have an “appreciation” of what they have in common because the parent doesn’t seem to care about commonality-only what makes them look good to the neighbors, to the world!

A child who sees “a parent” as “only an economic provider”, an ATM machine, or a “playmate, shelter” and only seeks “affection” is also breaking the “real bond between two generations”. Just as people who believe that history doesn’t repeat itself so there is no need to study it, just as people listen to the same “dog whistles” that authoritarians, slave owners, despots have said in the past and deny that they mean the same things now and find out that Orban likes Putin more than he likes the people of Hungary-that he turns on the people who supported him when he purported to want freedom for all, so too are children who refuse to share their “inner experiences” and hear the insights of the previous generations finding out how ill-equipped they are for living life on life’s terms. We need to acknowledge our needs for shelter and affection, for being provided for economically up to a certain point and our need to enjoy times between parents and children and we cannot allow this to be the entirety of our relationships!

Parents, grandparents must provide the next generation a “transcendent meaning of existence. “Transcendent” comes from the Latin meaning “climbing over” and the English definition is “beyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience”, “surpassing the ordinary”. Every human being has within them a desire and a path for transcendent meaning, it is hard-wired into us-hence our speechlessness at the Grand Canyon, a sunset over the water, the beauty and vibrations of Sedona and other “spiritual vortexes”, etc. We also have within us a need to be needed/called to action that is uniquely ours-which no one else can do in the same way we can. We have within us a higher consciousness, a spirit, that our souls cry out to satisfy and reach. We  are aware of the role of grandparents and the ‘older’ generation in this quest because, often, parents are too caught up in ‘keeping up with the Jones’”, trying to make a living that provides things for our children, and in many cases, working two jobs just to put a roof over their heads and food on the table. Yet, the ‘older’ generation, in many situations is still too concerned with ‘bragging rights’ about their grandchildren to offer these experiences of “transcendent meaning of existence”. We will take them on trips to Disneyland, around the world, etc and not always teach them how to climb over the beauty of something to plumb the depths of meaning that this beauty is capturing. Michelangelo’s “Statue of Moses” is breathtaking and seeing only the Marble, only the statue, only the craftsmanship, misses the essence of his work as evidenced by his quote: “The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

Without a “transcendent meaning of existence” there is no “inspiration”, no “exaltation”, no joy; there is only fun, partying, seeking wealth, fame, fortune and other such evaporating exploits. We are in desperate need of giving to the generations after us the values, actions of the generations before us gave to us; Democracy, Freedom, Meaning, a respect for the Human Spirit, treating one another with dignity and value, appreciating the uniqueness of one another. We have to teach the next generations how to have “transcendent meaning of existence” through sharing our insights and helping the have their own inner experiences instead of sending them to therapists. We should be speaking to one another about the ways we are still “climbing over” the normal and ordinary to have “exceptional” experiences of love, connection, learning and responding to the call we hear within us. Rather than denying the importance of spiritual growth in young people, as it was denied to us, we are duty-bound, love-bound to encourage the spiritual knowing within the next generation by explaining how we learned to ignore it to our peril, to a sense of loneliness and emptiness inside that no amount of alcohol, money, fame, etc could fill. Only through our experiencing the “transcendent meaning of existence” that is uniquely ours could we fill this hole in the soul. We could not plagiarize it from another person, we had to experience it on our own. Some people are using ‘medicine’ to reach these spiritual insights and some use meditation, while others use prayer and study- whatever the method, we have to teach these ways to the next generations and no longer ‘shield’ them from being responsible for their actions nor berate them because they follow “the beat of their own drummer”. We, the older generations have to provide these paths and accompany the generations after us on this quest, this journey.

I am thinking about how I squandered the insights and transcendent meaning of existence that my father and grandfathers gave me, how I could not hear the call of my aunts and uncles because I was so angry and listened to the material needs of my ego and my immediate family. NO ONE asked me to be a thief, no one asked me to hustle and lose my soul, I just couldn’t hold on to the “transcendent meanings” my father had instilled in me until my recovery began. In these ensuing years, I have shared “insights, transcendent meanings, inspiration and exaltations” with all I have encountered, not always in ways they could hear and understand which I am deeply sorry for. I have also been blessed to have so many people/teachers share these same experiences with me. Most of all, my daughter gets me, we share meanings and exaltations, sorrows and inspirations with one another and my siblings have done the same with their children. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 250

“The real bond between two generations is the insights they share, the appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet. A parent is not only an economic provider, playmate, shelter, and affection. A human being is in need of security, he is also in need of inspiration, of exaltation and a transcendent meaning of existence.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.83)

“The appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet” are two experiences which seem to have lost the bonding effect Rabbi Heschel is assuming, declaring in our times. We have Facebook groups of children who have divorced their parents, parents and children who have forgotten to “set a price/appraise” the importance of the bond they have in common with one another. We, as a society, have come to no longer have a positive appraisal, an appreciation of and for the connection between one generation to another. In the Bible, in our prayers in Judaism, in our ritual at some Bar/Bat Mitzvah services, we see the passing down of wisdom and ways of being “from one generation to another”, yet, we are watching in our political, economic, faux religious arenas a passing down of hatred, of anger, of grievance. Have we, as human beings, fallen so far that we forget to appreciate the fact that our parents raised us to the best of their ability, that they had no manual for how to raise a child nor an adult? Have we fallen so far in our lack of humanity and compassion that we fail to appreciate the awesomeness of our children and how much better our lives because they are in it?

When we can get ‘over ourselves’ and our hurts, angers, our anguish over not having the “parents we wanted”, we can see the bond that an appreciation of what we have in common with one another, as a family, a community, a country, as human beings. We can laugh and cry together over our losses and our gains, tell the stories of how we missed an opportunity and how we seized them. We can hear the ethical wills of the ‘older’ generation and, rather than dismissing them as ‘old fogies who are not with it’, we can take their experiences, their errors and their victories and use them to enhance our lives. When we have the bonding experience of appreciating what we have in common with every generation and every human being, we realize  the truth of Ecclesiastes: “there is nothing new under the sun” and because of this each generation that appreciates what the previous one has done and connects to the wisdom and sees the commonalities, can move the gains of that generation forward. This is how the computer age came into being, it is how science has continued to make new discoveries, it is how religions can, if they are not mired in the past, continue to have new insights and appreciations of the wisdom of past Saints, Sinners, Teachers, Prophets, etc to see the “70 faces” of the Bible.

The bond that “moments of inner experience in which they meet” creates is forever. Even when we deny the connection because we are upset over something a person has done, we cannot deny the “moments of inner connection”. It is precisely these moments which allow us to not judge people by their worst acts because we know their worst acts do not make up all of their being. We share “moments of inner connection” when we name our children, when we help them grow, when we allow them to fail and go over what happened to make sure they fail forward. We share “moments of inner connection” when we pray together, when we learn one generation with another. We share them when we allow ourselves to learn from those “young whippersnappers” and from those “ancient fossils”. We share these “moments of inner connection” when we meet someone and care about how they truly are. When we recognize their dignity and worth, when we meet their uniqueness and join our uniqueness with theirs to create beauty and joy, harmony and a stronger foundation.

The world is facing a crisis of not being bonded, society has created situations where the bonding over “appreciation of what they have in common” and “moments of inner connection” is laughed at. The only bonding, according to the new societal norms, that is worth it to us is the bonding over money and power, control and kleptocracy. We see this in the rise of the ‘populist’ movement across the globe, by the very people who have the greatest disdain for the “ordinary people” they are appealing to. The attack on Donald J Trump is horrific and it speaks to what happens when violence is applauded, seen as a means to gaining power, when our democratic institutions are under attack from the far left and far right, when the extremists lie with reckless abandon and no consequences. When being a good, decent human being who is of service is seen as a “loser”, we have lost the “appreciation of what we have in common” and the “moments of inner connection” that we could be sharing as human beings. We, the people, have to recapture our humanness, our dignity and the dignity of everyone once again. We begin this recapturing by connecting to our families, our friends, and our communities based on our shared “moments of inner connection” which entails us dropping our armor, opening ourselves up and allowing people to see and share our inner life. It means that we see how much more in common we have with one another, how each generation thinks the older one is wrong and come to realize the wisdom of age and experience which we can use. We, the people, have to take back our lives through connection to one another, connection to being civil, remembering to “Love our neighbor as we love ourselves”.

I believe, hope that the wisdom of my families prior generations has been filtered through me, my siblings, cousins, so the next generations of our family has the bond of their insights, commonality, and shared inner experiences. I believe we have because the cousins are in touch with one another, my siblings and I continue to tell the stories of our parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents; imparting the wisdom we learned from them and how we have and have not used this wisdom well. I have pictures of my parents and grandparents physically and imprinted on my soul. My life is so much better because of the family I came from and the family I have created. Heather, Harriet, my siblings, nieces and nephews make my life better as does the family, community that we have created through connection and service. I am unafraid to open myself up to inner connections even when I am rebuffed because hiding is not an option for me, it leads me back to the terrible loneliness and spiritual poverty of my teens through 37. I pray people remember the connections and the things we have in common more than my errors, of which there are many. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 249

“The real bond between two generations is the insights they share, the appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet. A parent is not only an economic provider, playmate, shelter, and affection. A human being is in need of security, he is also in need of inspiration, of exaltation and a transcendent meaning of existence.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.83)

Sharing insights is a key part of connection between parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren, between friends, between study partners (call Chaver in Hebrew) and between elected officials and their constituents. This sharing of insights, unfortunately, cuts both ways-sharing positive ones to move the world, one’s life forward towards the being one’s soul calls it to be and sharing the negative ones that teach entitlement, authoritarianism, enslaving another, spreading calumny and deception. Throughout history we have seen both ways of being promoted by people in power and those who feel ‘left out’. In our time, we are watching the ‘poor white people’ especially in the South feeling ‘left out’ because they have been given insights by their ancestors that “the South will rise again”, ie slavery will once again be the way of the land, plantations and wealth will be in the hands of the few and only white people, the only true people fit for leadership, will be in charge. We are watching, some of us in horror, how these opportunists and liars are convincing truly poor people that they will benefit from these deceptions when we know it is all about the elites from the Ivy League Schools who are pushing these mendacious thoughts and ideas! And there is a bond between the generations going back to the Southern States who signed the Constitution with the power-hungry white supremacists of today, and these people are not limited to the South anymore!

There are, of course, the insights being shared by people who believe the words in the Bible: “Let freedom ring throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein” (Lev. 25:10). These insights are ones where we wrestle with how best to serve humanity in general, family in particular and how to fulfill the call of our souls so we can be free from the lies we have been telling ourselves, so we can free from the inner and outer slavery that society wants to impose on us. We find this way of being in the Talmud, a compendium of 800 years of discussions on how to best fulfill the ways the Bible gives us to live well and to live together and/or side by side in harmony and in tolerance for the differences we all have. Those of us of a certain age remember the Civil Rights movement of the 1950’s and 60’s when our parents and their parents, friends and older siblings and cousins aunts and uncles joined in because of the persecution that our ancestors had faced in their countries of origin. We knew that everyone in America came here to escape some type of persecution; religious, class, slavery, sexual, etc. with the exception of the Black people who were brought here to be sold-an inhumane action by all accounts in every faith. We have to share these insights with our children and children’s children; we have to shout from the rooftops when any injustice is happening because “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” as Rev. Martin Luther King said. We have to share our insights with the younger and older generations of anti-semitism and the reign of terror and murder that the Nazis brought upon our earth just 80-85 years ago. We have to share the insight s from the way ‘good’ ‘everyday’ people would turn in their neighbors and torture Jews, Gypsies, just to be in the good graces of the Nazis and the SS. We have to share the insights of what we have learned from these terrible times and we have to share the insights of the Heroes who stood up against these horrific ways of being: the Daniel Websters, the John Browns, the Abraham Lincolns, the Polish, Dutch French resistance fighters, the people who hid Jews, especially children, for the sake of decency and being human, the Freedom Riders who were willing to give their lives and three of them, Chaney, Schwerner and Goodman did, so Black people could register to vote, to Lyndon Johnson who pushed the voting rights act and the Civil Rights Act which was on JFK’s agenda, through Congress. It is time for all of us who remember what it was like when people were discriminated against, who remember being called derogatory names because we are Jewish, Black, Muslim, who remember being told to go back to where we came from because we weren’t really Americans, to share these insights of our direct experiences and/or the stories our ancestors passed down to us.

It is also time for us to listen to the younger generation. We have to continue to hear the insights they have otherwise it is not sharing, it is pontificating and no one who has a brain wants to hear empty pontifications. We need to answer the hard questions of what we did during the turbulent times, how we stood up and how we hid, how our people escaped and how they died because they wanted to be ‘home’. We have to hear their concern for Palestinians who are dying and give them the Israeli side of the story and hear what solutions they have for the issues of today. We have to understand that their experiences are different than ours, we gave them a better more informed world where it is easier to spread lies-as Mark Twain said: “a lie travels halfway around the world before the truth puts its shoes on” and this was before the internet! We have to engage with our younger relations and younger people in general to share our wisdom and, as the Talmud did, allow them to share their wisdom without our disdain and with an eagerness to learn and engage with them.

One of my greatest regrets is I did not have enough time with my father to share and learn all of his insights. He was a person of faith and depth even though he was not considered religious. He believed in freedom and treated all people with respect and kindness-even those he disagreed with. He believed in honoring the dignity of all people, respecting women and hearing his children’s ideas and thoughts. My mother’s father, David Nagleberg, also died before I could even learn with and from him. I was blessed to learn from my father’s father, Abe and from my aunts and uncles. While I didn’t use their insights for good right away, they made my recovery, my return to decency and goodness a little easier and much simpler. My brothers, sister and I shared insights and continue to share insights, even when one of doesn’t want to hear them. The same is true of my experience with my daughter Heather and, of course, with Harriet. As Rabbi Chanina says in the Talmud (Tanit 7a): “I have learned much from my teachers, more from my colleagues and most from my students”. I am BLESSED beyond words for the years of sharing with students/people I learned with my insights and theirs. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 248

“It is not necessary for man to submit to the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities and to accept as inevitable the liquidation of the inner man. It is within the power of man to save the secret substance that holds the world of man together. The way to overcome loneliness is not by waiting to receive a donation of companionship but rather by offering and giving companionship and meaning to others.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

In the first sentence above, Rabbi Heschel delineates the issue facing all of us, especially as we age. In the next two sentences he gives us a solution and we have to engage in this solution in order to make it work for our benefit and the benefit of everyone. Please notice that this is not a prescription for Jews alone, it is for “man”/humankind.

The first bit of strength and encouragement we receive in the writing above is that we have the power to solve the problem that society and our history has proven to be so endemic to human beings. Reading the above reminds me of the verse in Genesis that says “mankind is evil from their youth” meaning, in this context, that “the constant corrosion of” our “finest sensibilities begins in our teen-age/formative years, even before our brain is fully formed and our spiritual knowing is so woefully underdeveloped. AND, we have within us “the power…to save the secret substance that holds the world of man together”- overcoming “loneliness” and stopping the “constant corrosion” and a non-acceptance of “the liquidation of the inner” person. We do this by offering and giving rather than waiting to receive. What a concept!!

In an entitled world, which has been this way almost since the beginning of humankind, we sit on our tuches’ and wait to be served. Just as in a restaurant, when we are not served quick enough, we moan, groan, yell, abuse the people we believe should be serving us. When we do not get what ‘we deserve’, we rail against ‘the man’. When we are so haughty and entitled, many people then believe the people serving them are slaves, indentured servants rather than human beings trying to make a living the best, and sometimes only, way possible for them. We are witnessing the “waiting to receive” attitude and how it makes people mean and miserable in our political realm, aka MAGA crowd who all feel ‘less than’ when anyone of color or non-christian/catholic gets ahead of them, accomplishes something they believe is theirs, earns more than they, etc. The entitled need someone to put down and the people on the far ends of both political poles continue to be exploited because of  this need by their ‘leaders’ who are actually opportunists seeking their own donations of money, power, status.

In an entitled world, we watch how companies and corporations cry and whine about being compelled to use safe practices, how they pay off people quietly for the wrong doings they have committed, how they ‘make’ people sign NDA’s in order to get the money due them, etc. We are witnesses to the exploitation of humankind by the anti-vaxers who want to live “survival of the fittest” idea to its illogical solution. We are watching ‘good people of faith’ deny the right to choose the health care they want and is best for them for millions of women. We are watching these ‘good christian conservatives’ roll back the Civil Rights and Voting Rights acts of the 1960’s because ‘there is no prejudice anymore’ according to Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas. We are watching our youth, in their search for connection, turn to a myriad of faux connections, their screens, the amount of likes on social media, alcohol, drugs, etc and blaming them, their parents rather than seeing how the unchecked marketing of drugs, ‘feel good’ panaceas, pushing entitlements/celebrities, and having the ‘good news bible’ of white supremacy blaring from right-wing conservatives day in and day out.

In all of these situations and more, truth is forgotten, alternative facts are all that matter, what the ‘leader’ says is good and what truth says is bad. Love is turned into false worship of the authoritarian and giving is for suckers! Here is where Rabbi Heschel’s solution is so crucial for the welfare of humanity. “Loneliness” can only be “overcome” when we are  “offering and giving companionship and meaning to others”. What I hear Rabbi Heschel calling us to do is to go beyond our selfish, entitled ways of being; to be “maladjusted to words and notions” in order to have “an authentic awareness of that which is” as he writes in his description of wonder in “Man is Not Alone”. We see bumper stickers saying “practice acts of random kindness”, we read often about the “good” people do for those in trouble, we are hearing more and more super-wealthy people giving the bulk of their estates to charities, we watch in awe of the men and women who volunteer for our Armed Services, we are in gratitude for the people who work in non-profits helping those in need while they could make a lot more in the for-profit world. We are witnesses to “thousands points of light” as President George H.W. Bush spoke about. Some of us are participants in these actions, veterans of these offerings and giving opportunities of companionship and meaning and how much richer are our lives for it. Yes, as we age, we have to make room for the younger generation and we have to raise them up right-as my grandmother used to say. Many in the recovery movement, like the therapeutic world, is succumbing to the greed of human beings and more about the bottom line of profit and loss than about the bottom line of saving a soul. As our institutions and governments succumb to the “constant corrosion of our finest sensibilities”, we, the people, the elders, have to help them reverse their corrosion through “offering and giving companionship and meaning” to themselves as well as to others. We have to help them remember their need to serve and offer, their need for meaning and “it is not good for humans to be alone”.

I have spent my entire recovery living into the solution Rabbi Heschel offers after spending over 20 years in abject loneliness which corroded my being and I kept selling/giving away my inner life and finer sensibilities. Since the beginning of my recovery, Rabbi Heschel has understood my loneliness and always has a solution for me to be connected. “Offering and giving companionship and meaning to others” has enriched my life to the point where even now, in my ‘older years’ when not too many people seek me out, I am not lonely, because I keep offering and giving my truth, my wisdom, my spirit and my love to all around me. This makes the rejection of some like flicking dust off of my clothes sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. I know that I am never lonely. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 247

“It is not necessary for man to submit to the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities and to accept as inevitable the liquidation of the inner man. It is within the power of man to save the secret substance that holds the world of man together. The way to overcome loneliness is not by waiting to receive a donation of companionship but rather by offering and giving companionship and meaning to others.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

This first sentence above, written 63+ years ago, is prescient. Rabbi Heschel warning us all about “the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities” should be ringing 4-Alarm Fire Bells in all of us. Sociologists can document the corrosion since the beginning of time with brief interludes of humanity recognizing it, stopping it, growing our finest sensibilities only to have people seeking absolute power spread acidic tales which then begin the corrosion anew. We do not have to “submit” to this merry-go-round that has become acceptable, ‘the way of the world’ as some like to say. We do not have to accept the liquidation of our inner life into a pool of goop. We can and, I am positing, we must hold onto what makes us human, what makes us worthy of our existence and being a partner with the source of the universe, our inner life. What is it in human beings that we allow this “constant corrosion” to occur? I have been working with people, including myself, for the past 35+ years to help us reverse this corrosion and in order to do this, we have to first end its allure for us. Every human being is susceptible to this corrosion and suffers from it, some more than others and some are more aware of the corrosion than others as well.

The allure of “the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities” is not having to live up to the standards set by our higher consciousness, our higher power, God, Allah, Jesus whatever you understand as the “prime mover” as Aristotle posits. Once we realize our inability to live into these standards, we continue the error of Adam in the 3rd Chapter of Genesis, we hide! We are afraid to admit our errors, we have such low ego strength that we are incapable of saying “oops I made a mistake” for fear of being laughed at, for fear of engaging in self-loathing, for fear of not being perfect among other fears. Rather than realize that to be human is to be imperfect, rather than appreciate the “Spirituality of Imperfection” a book that Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketchum authored, humanity/society has propagated the lie that we can and should be perfect-how ridiculous and how it decimates our “finest sensibilities”. When we begin to buy into societal norms and its mental cliches, we lose our ability to be human, we lose our ability to truly connect with another and we lose our ability for compassion, empathy and love for another human being and for ourselves. Our “finest sensibilities” teach us how to forgive the errors of another person, they give us the ability to appreciate the differences/uniqueness of everyone else and see their uniqueness as a gift that we can use for our benefit just as they can use our uniqueness for theirs. Rather than compete and cheat, our “finest sensibilities” help us cooperate and celebrate the ‘wins’ of another and know our ‘wins’ are part of the greater good we participate in. It is when we see life as a zero-sum game, when our egos are so weak, our spirits so underdeveloped that we believe we must “win at any and all costs” that lying, deception, cheating, using of people becomes the prevalent way of being, the pathways of faux connection, optics, looking good on the outside are the only things that matter-hence the emphasis on ‘celebrity’, power, knowing it all, doing good to hide the rot inside, etc.

We have willingly participated in the “liquidation of the inner man” since time immemorial. Slavery is such a liquidation, living the societal norms are liquidations of our inner life. Needing to be right is a liquidation of our inner life as is the need to be subservient so we can ‘get ours’ from someone we loathe. All of the ways we engage in deceiving ourselves, deceiving another(s), feed our false egos, hide behind the curtain a la the wizard of Oz, we are liquidating our inner life. Religion, as it has been practiced in modernity and before, has contributed to this “liquidation of the inner man” by demanding perfect adherence to bastardizations of the tenets found in the Bible, by making Jesus into a caricature of what the New Testament describes, etc. All of this to empower despots, to make the ‘common folk’ (almost all other people than those in power) subjects to their whims and worship the authoritarians. We see this in our Boardrooms, in our Politics, in our Institutions, in our families. When we are unable to admit our errors in judgement and in deeds, we are liquidating our inner life and we are adding to the corrosion of our “finest sensibilities”. When we are unable to give credit where credit is due, when we need to steal from one another, when we need to be jealous of another, when we need to feel bad about ourselves and blame someone else for our shortcomings we are liquidating our inner life and corroding our “finest sensibilities”.

Through these past 35+ years, under the tutelage of great teachers, my people and I have found a solution-it is an age-old solution- T’Shuvah is part of it, admitting my errors, realizing who is/was harmed by them, how they were/are harmed and what I need to do to restore the dignity I stole from them and myself as well as how/what I need to do to stop me from repeating this way of being. It is, actually, a return to the being I was created to be, that my soul/spirit is calling for me to be. As a former thief and conman, I have a PhD in the liquidation of the inner life and the corrosion of my “finest sensibilities”, so making this 180 degree turn was difficult and exhilarating, hard and the simplest action I have ever taken. Another part of the solution 1000’s of people and I have found is: Gratitude! We are told in the Bible: eat, be satisfied, and bless. From this we have found that eating is something we should do often (in proper measure of course-something I have yet to conquer completely), satisfaction doesn’t last forever nor should it because then we would stop growing, and be grateful for what we have and what we don’t have- cherish the teachers and friends, family and loved ones we GET to hang out with and learn from, wrestle with and embrace. Living into our “finest sensibilities”, ending the “liquidation of our inner life”, helping another human being do the same- this is the Jackpot, the Big Win of life and I am grateful to all who help me achieve this way of being and continue to help me be grateful and do T’Shuvah. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living in Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

                                            Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

                                                             Year 3 Day 246

“This is one of the beauties of the human spirit. We appreciate what we share, we do not appreciate what we receive. Friendship, affection is not acquired by giving presents. Friendship, affection comes about by two people sharing a significant moment, by having an experience in common.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

The last two sentences above are crucial to our understanding of what a friendship, an intimate relationship is actually based on. Most people are acquaintances, they are often need based and therefore time limited, and when the significant moment arrives where we actually need another person, our ‘friends’ turn out to be acquaintances and/or ones who show up when they need something and not the other way around. Other instances are the ‘friends’ who want to cozy up to people they think will help them or give them some celebrity/gravitas because of their closeness to hip, to power, to wealth, etc. There can be no real friendship nor true affection in “role to role” relationships. These are the I/It relationships that Martin Buber speaks about. They are also what I call I/object relationships where one person treats another as a tool, an object for their benefit with no real feeling or caring about the welfare of the person they are using.

We are witnessing this phenomena more and more in modernity and we recognize it more and more the older we get. We have the opportunity to impart the hard earned wisdom of what true friendship is from all of the battle scars we have from getting it wrong. We have the obligation to teach the younger generation of our errors and triumphs in having authentic affection for another human being and what it takes to maintain and grow this affection in all of our relationships, especially our intimate ones. We have become afraid to share a “significant moment” with another person because we have been laughed at so often for our seeking of real connection when so many people are only into ‘faux’ connection. We watch our political leaders put down authentic moments of grief by blaming people not guns so there is no need for gun control. We are witnessing one party relish the thought of being fascists and dictators while reveling in the idea they can end democracy and do this in the name of our founding fathers! No wonder our children and grandchildren don’t have faith in anything any more. No wonder they are so susceptible to the lies of Hamas and the far left as well as the far right and religious fanatics- they are searching for certainty and we in the middle have forgotten to teach them that there is no certainty, we are all just doing what we believe is best with the information we have in the moment. When we can share a significant moment, when we acknowledge our need to have a common experience, then we can hear one another’s perspective and wisdom which leads to authentic affection and true friendship.

We all need to stop believing in “alternative facts”, in the rewriting of history as the Republican Party is trying to do regarding Jan. 6th, as the Supreme Court is doing with the immunity case, the Dobbs decision, and the other ones they have overturned and look forward to overturning. We are not a country governed by the rule of law anymore, we are being governed by fascists and a Supreme Court that cares more about the wishes of the rich than real justice. We have to end our fascination with the Reality TV show that Trump and his minions and his puppeteers are running on our political stage. We have to do this because it has infiltrated all our relationships, it has made us suspect of everything and everyone. We are afraid to speak about the dangers that are hanging over us lest someone who is a MAGA will berate us, will shame us, will enrage us. We have lost the ability to “share a significant moment” because we are afraid of being real. This is one of the ways we have hindered our knowledge, I believe. We have bought into the lies of people so much that we accept the societal norms and cliches that we know are wrong and destructive. We have allowed these deceptions to penetrate our being and we have given into our own self-deception.

We have the solution, however. Letting go of our need for certainty, revealing to ourselves our self-deceptive ways, and offering a hand in true friendship and authentic affection to those who have helped us, those who have reached out to us, those who seek real connection with us. They are all around us, our children who need to see us as human beings with all of our flaws and greatness; people we work with who need to know we care about them, their families, their way of life; parents and family who need to know we know they did the best they could to connect and help us grow; friends who reach out and need our help and need to be needed by us; and the people we pass in the street with whom we share our space with and are in need of a smile and/or a hello. In other words, everyone we come into contact with gives us an opportunity to share a “common experience”-being human and a “significant moment”, the one we are in right now. Taking off our armor, letting down our guard will result in some pain because not everyone we meet will honor our attempts at true connection and the pain will pass quickly while the guilt from not doing this stays with us and turns to shame when we find out the ramifications of our imperviousness. Rabbi Heschel’s teaching above gives us the wake-up call, the opportunity to ask ourselves if we are happier in our own bubble or do we realize how necessary the true friendship and authentic affection that comes from “sharing a significant moment” and “having a common experience” are?

I have been blessed with both authentic affection, true friendship, real connections and the faux ones as well. The pain of finding out someone is having a faux relationship with me when I believed it was a real one is excruciating. I also know it is part of being human, I will recover from the pain and living as an open book, offering real affection is better than living the other way-since I have done both. I understand my grandfathers belief that if someone cheated or hurt them, it is sad for the other person and not a reflection of who they were. I am coming to the same realization, slower than they did and getting there. I know the “common experiences” I have had with people who have forgotten them or cared about them only as long as they needed something, I know the “significant moments” I have shared with people who decided they didn’t matter. I know the people for whom my way of being became too difficult for them and they decided to forgo the friendship, the relationship we had forged together. I know the people who withdrew their affection when it became uncomfortable to stand with me. I get it and blame no one, I understand the difficulty in maintaining friendships and have let some go that I needed to hold onto. I am grateful for the affection and friendship I share with people and for the love and gratitude I share with them and with my family. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

                                             Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

                                                             Year 3 Day 245

“This is one of the beauties of the human spirit. We appreciate what we share, we do not appreciate what we receive. Friendship, affection is not acquired by giving presents. Friendship, affection comes about by two people sharing a significant moment, by having an experience in common.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

Still in the chapter “to grow in wisdom” from his lecture at the Conference on Aging in 1961, Rabbi Heschel presents a very interesting concept above, one which humanity in the modern age has tried to deny and failed in our denial of the truth above. In a society that is so concerned with wealth and power, thinking these two things will protect us against old age and death, we have found neither one engenders authentic “friendship” nor “affection”. In the 63+ years since these words were written, society has focused more and more attention on “getting rich”, on “making it big”, on staying young looking through Botox, cosmetic surgery, etc. The idea of making it on your own has strengthened and the rich have given more and more to their children who appreciate it less and less. We have become an entitled society because of a lack of appreciation and gratitude for what we have acquired. We believe we ‘earned’ our wealth through our brilliance, rather than know we are blessed and have used our skills to make something of value; when being a celebrity because of marketing overtakes being valued because of what you add to the world, humanity is in grave danger of losing it’s appellation “very good”(Gen.1:31)

We have seen for a very long time human beings’ reluctance to share, we see it first in infancy, where we teach our children to share with their friends, we allow them to cry when they continue to believe they are the center of the universe, we help them learn self-restraint and then we see selfishness and harshness come back in their teen years-think “mean girls”, “jocks vs. eggheads” etc- and without parental influence, without teachers stepping in, this behavior gets normalized and we raise generations of “ME/MINE” adults. This belief that I can have whatever I want with little or no effort has resulted in a generation of “failure to launch” adults as written about by Mark McConville in 2021. He is recounting what Clergy, Parents, Therapists, Psychiatrists have seen for a long time and what has resulted in therapists and psychiatrists getting a lot of therapy hours and payments to ‘combat’ this dreaded disease. Rather than heeding Rabbi Heschel’s words, society has ignored them to our peril and to the detriment of our youth and young adults.

To share an experience with our children, with our peers is to join together in joy and sorrow, in creating and in letting go throughout our lifetimes. It is to teach gratitude and responsibility from a young age, it is to not allow the children to be the center of attention always-their needs come before the parents and/or anyone else’s-and to not ignore them as well. Finding this balance has been the bane of our existence since the beginning of humanity! Yet, we keep trying to find the right measure of both and, in our failures, we continue to learn more and more. We learn that giving our kids everything and/or nothing is not a path to appreciation and affection, we have learned that being our kid’s ‘friends’ means we relinquish our authority as their parents and elders as well as our wisdom from our own experiences. While each generation has proclaimed they will raise their children differently, they will raise the standards of living to be better, we are witnessing today more selfishness, more entitlement, more poverty, more senseless hatred, more mendacity, more danger to freedom than since before the American Revolution!

In our drive to ‘succeed’, we have almost lost one of “the beauties of the human spirit”, sharing, allowing people to work for what they have, and gratitude for what we have. As wisdom found in Chapters of our Ancestors teaches: “Who is rich? One who rejoices in their place, portion” ie, one who wants what he/she has. When we live a life of honoring others, of learning from everyone, a life of subduing our ‘evil’ inclination in order to use the energy to do good, and we find our ikigai, our purpose-all we can have is gratitude and the desire to share with another, share with the world our unique talents and gifts as well as receive from another(s) their gifts and talents so one doesn’t have to do it all. Living this type of life allows us to live in proper measure, to know we tend only a small portion of the garden and we need people around us to tend their portion so the weeds don’t become overgrown and wild. While we have lost this way of living in many areas of the world and in our own country, we can regain this path, we can teach our children and help them live lives of meaning, we can stop the accidental path of life from overwhelming us and live with and on purpose. We can return to a time where giving was another form of gratitude, where sharing our wealth, our ideas, our skills was the path we all took in order to “make a more perfect union”. We have to end our practice of “buying our children’s affection”, we have to end our practice of “I am only as happy as my unhappiest child”, we have to teach our children how to share and stand on our own, we have to help our friends with our support and counsel, we have to ask for and take the same from them. We have to change our ways so we can grow into the people our individual souls want us to be. We do this by sharing, not by taking.

I have lived both ways-entitled because my father died when I was a young teenager, thinking that I deserved more because I was so traumatized and this led to crime, alcoholism and prison. It also led to me thinking I was smarter than most people because I could ‘get over’ on them. At age 37, I found myself in a prison cell with very few people to call, seen as a pariah by my family and peers, except for the other people who were in the same boat as me. My change happened because of an ecstatic experience and my daughter’s letter to me. I made a decision that I could not live the way I had been living and honor my father nor be a father to my daughter. Since then, Heather and I have had many shared experiences. I have many shared experiences with Harriet, with the people I have been and am Rabbi for/to. I relish these shared experiences because they help me grow in gratitude, in awe, in learning and in witnessing the beauty of life. I am joyful for all the people I know who have ‘made it’ and the spiritual growth they have attained. I am grateful that I don’t ‘take’ anymore, I earn the respect and the love that I have because of the sharing of experiences, wisdom, kindness, love and truth with the people in my life. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth and Happiness

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 244

“The years of old age may enable us to attain the high values we failed to sense, the insights we have missed, the wisdom’s we ignored. They are indeed formative years, rich in possibilities to unlearn the follies of a lifetime, to see through inbred self-deceptions, to deepen understanding and compassion, to widen the horizon of honesty, to refine the sense of fairness.”(Insecurity of Freedom pg.78)(Bold is used to highlight the sentence I am writing on)

In our youth, we are sure of our “rightness” in all of our thoughts and actions. Youth is a time of coming into our own, so to speak, and we are hungry to prove ourselves. We are sure we know more than our parents, as Mark Twain’s quote shows: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” Today, most of us are unable to recognize “how much the old man had learned” when we are into our middle age much less at “21”. While it would be convenient to blame the young people, I find much of the fault lies at the feet of older people.

In our quest to stay ‘relevant’, to be ‘hip’ for our grandchildren, to not be ignored by our children, older adults do not spend enough time “to deepen understanding and compassion” within themselves and to teach our children how to do the same. In Deuteronomy Chapter 6, verse 7 we are told to “teach your children” all of our learnings throughout our lifetime-there is no end for our engaging in this Mitzvah. Yet, we have not done the work to “deepen understanding and compassion” within our selves enough to pass this wisdom on to our children. Many times, even when we have, our children and grandchildren are ‘too busy’ to listen and we give up too easily.

In our older years, we have the time and the luxury to look back on our youth, on our actions and see what we have learned from our ‘missing the mark’ and what we have learned from when we ‘hit the mark’. Many of us forget to review our successful ventures and miss out on important lessons they have to teach us. This review of when we ‘hit the mark’ also allows us to “deepen our compassion” for another who didn’t ‘hit the mark’, for another whom we may have harmed knowingly and/or unknowingly in our ‘march to the top’. We get to see how even when we did what was best for the situation at hand, we may have harmed another human being who also was doing the best they could. Taking the time to “deepen our understanding” of our decisions and our actions will bring us to a new level of vision and knowledge. It will give us the insight of growing our inner life and we will better be able to find the ways to speak to our children and grandchildren in ways they can hear us instead of expecting them to understand our way of talking. Allowing ourselves to truly look at ourselves and our actions for the sake of being able to live with ourselves and with everyone around us in truth, in compassion, in fairness and in love will give more power and meaning to the life lessons we impart and how to move forward a little better as we age.

“To widen the horizon of honesty, to refine the sense of fairness” is a call to “erase the margins” as Father Greg Boyle of Homeboy Industries teaches. It is a call to let go of the barriers we have erected throughout our lives to ‘protect’ us from ‘those people’, from ‘that happening to me’, and other such self-deceptions. When we “widen the horizon of honesty”, we are letting go of self-deceptions, we are jettisoning the societal norms and mental cliches that keep us stuck and we are taking a journey into the wonder of life, to a place of maladjustment and awe, to a place of mystery and beyond. We become explorers going to places never thought possible by society-we are Christopher Columbus, on a journey to discover a whole new world-truth and fairness, freedom and celebration, wonder, awe, surprises, and joy. In our youth, most of us are too busy trying to ‘make a living’ to take this journey and we get used to being stuck. There are some who go beyond and, while for years they were laughed at, in recent times they have become billionaires. In our ‘older years’ we have the luxury of time to reflect and see how, where, when we did “widen the horizon of honesty” and when we did “refine the sense of fairness” and when we didn’t. We have to obligation to teach these lessons to our children as well as repair our inner life for the damage we wrought on it when we failed to act in these ways. Taking this last phrase to heart and taking it seriously gives us an amazing opportunity to be more relevant, to be more important in the lives of our children and other youth and to impart the hardscrabble wisdom we have attained.

As I immerse myself in the words above, I realize that I have continually sought to “deepen my understanding and compassion” throughout my lifetime-in my youth it was this way of being that caused me to not be such a good criminal! In my teen years I was giving my “ill-gotten gains” to my mother and my brother because they needed it. In my older years, I lost this way of being and it became about me and my first wife and daughter-or so I said to myself. In fact, it was about the lies I told myself and my forgetting the teachings of my father and grandfathers of how important the last phrase above is. In my recovery, I have done a good job of living into these teachings and, as I reflect back, I realize my hurt and wound, my sense of betrayal at certain times caused me to be blind and less than compassionate, narrowed my “horizon of honesty” and my sense of fairness was about me not thinking about the other people were seeing the experience. I am sorry about this and this daily blog is my way of sharing what I have learned and how to live into this learning for my family, friends and everyone it reaches. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Wellness

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 243

“The years of old age may enable us to attain the high values we failed to sense, the insights we have missed, the wisdom’s we ignored. They are indeed formative years, rich in possibilities to unlearn the follies of a lifetime, to see through inbred self-deceptions, to deepen understanding and compassion, to widen the horizon of honesty, to refine the sense of fairness.”(Insecurity of Freedom pg.78)(Bold is used to highlight the sentence I am writing on)

The bolded half-sentence above is eye-opening and, frankly, a shockingly wonderful way to experience “old age”! While there are two opposing views of “old people”, one that shows us doddering, mumbling, wearing Depends, etc. and the other which Jack LaLane portrayed of totally fit, being like the 90 year-old marathon runners. The reality is most of us are neither doddering nor fit enough to run a marathon, we are somewhere on the continuum and, many of us are trying to find things to occupy our time, be it children, grandchildren, hobbies, pickleball, golf, shopping, museums, lunches with ‘the girls’ or ‘the guys’…

And in the midst of this search, this time-killing soul crushing search for relevance comes the teaching of Rabbi Heschel above. “Old age” is a time to formulate our legacy, to reflect on what we have accomplished and what we still need to accomplish, to see the “possibilities” that abound for us and, especially, the “possibilities to unlearn the follies of a lifetime”! We are given these years as a gift, not a punishment. Our experience of “old age” does not have to be one of waiting to die nor one of filling our time trying to be relevant and needed. We are relevant and needed just because we are alive, just because we have a wealth of experience and knowledge as I wrote about in prior days. We are have to realize the truth of the teaching above, not wait for someone else to validate us. One of the major follies of our lifetimes is that we have to prove our relevance, we have to be a human doing rather than a human being! Being the richest is not a badge of honor, being the shrewdest doesn’t get you a better seat in the next world, having the most toys wins us nothing special in death. Yet, these and so many more follies we continue to chase. “I am only as happy as my unhappiest child”,“If I only had _______, my life would be good”, and so many other “follies” we have believed Yet, these and so many more follies we continue to chase. “I am only as happy as my unhappiest child”, “I have to put all my affairs in order so my children don’t have to deal with them”, “My only joy is my grandchildren, children,…”, “If I only had _______, my life would be good”, and so many other “follies” we have believed. Isn’t it time to use these “formative years” to end our pursuit of these follies we have built up and spent our lives chasing?

Del Webb coined the phrase “golden years” in 1959 to sell his 55+ communities and many of us have bought into this phrase. Yet instead of living into the ways Rabbi Heschel is giving us to use these “golden years” most of us spend them unwisely-maybe as unwisely as we spent our years up till now-“through inbred self-deceptions”! So many of us spend so much time and energy on our “inbred self-deceptions” These self-deceptions are passed down from generation to generation and seem to be multiplying as they are passed down. Given the desire of so many people to want a dictator here in America, we see the self-deceptions that these people have grown since 1776, since 1789, since 1865 - all of these being dates of affirming a commitment to equality and democracy. Yet, because of these “inbred self-deceptions” we find ourselves in another civil war, will it be bloody depends on the commitment of those seeking to end the American Experiment and those seeking to continue Democracy, as imperfect as it is here. We also suffer from the familiar and personal “inbred self-deceptions” that we can’t criticize family in public, we can’t ‘air our dirty laundry’, we can’t speak our truth, our experience if it goes against the ‘party line’, we can’t ever reveal our inner dialogue to those closest to us because they will leave us… Now, in our “old age”, we can finally let go of these “inbred self-deceptions”, these falsehoods we have accepted as ‘just the way it is’, the societal norms and false cliches we have spent our lives up till now adopting and adapting to so we could “make it”. We have the power, we have the experience, we have nothing to gain from holding onto these “self-deceptions”, these “follies”, we will not crumble when we let them go, we will not be lost without them. I am positing, based on the teaching above and my experience, we will be freer than ever, we will experience joy, stand straighter and for something and be able to pass on to the next generation our “follies” and “inbred self-deceptions” so they can lose theirs a little sooner than we have.

I realize how my “follies” and “inbred self-deceptions” caused my spiritual crisis of 2020, how they led me to act out inappropriately, how they gave me a false sense of security that my years of service would override this error, how ‘my people’ on the board would stand up for me and I would be restored. No one person is at fault for what happened with me in 2020, and I am responsible as well as guilty of, most of all, holding onto the “follies” and “inbred self-deceptions”, which when they were not realized, when the bubble burst on them, I was shocked, angry, hurt, and bewildered. When a conversation could not occur, when “it is up to the lawyers” took over, I was lost. Living into the teaching above, I finally understand the depth of my part in this whole debacle. My “follies” and my “inbred self-deceptions” no longer control me and I am grateful for the experience of 2020, I know that I will never go back to them again as deeply or as confidently again.  God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Learning from Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 242

“The years of old age may enable us to attain the high values we failed to sense, the insights we have missed, the wisdom’s we ignored. They are indeed formative years, rich in possibilities to unlearn the follies of a lifetime, to see through inbred self-deceptions, to deepen understanding and compassion, to widen the horizon of honesty, to refine the sense of fairness.”(Insecurity of Freedom pg.78)(Bold is used to highlight the sentence I am writing on)

Since the beginning of my study of Rabbi Heschel’s teachings, I have read a page, gone on to the next and then had to go back to the page I understood one way only to realize the power of his words and teachings anew.

Today is Independence Day, as is everyday if we choose to leave the narrow places of false ego, our minds, our self-deceptions, etc. In America we celebrate the courage of the Founding Fathers to issue a document that states that all people are created equal, all people have certain unalienable rights; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness which most of us have come to believe applies to people of color who were enslaved, discriminated against, etc. I would like to offer that all people also includes “old age”! Even though the emphasis on youth has always been strong, modernity has reached higher levels than previous societies in its disdain for people who are considered “old”. Ergo, the words of Rabbi Heschel above take on new and important meaning for all of us.

“The years of old age may enable us to attain the high values we failed to sense…” is a response to modernity’s treatment of “old age” as a ‘disease’. I underlined “may” because it takes those of us who are considered in and/or entering “old age” to do the inner work to “attain the high values…the insights…the wisdom…” we “failed to sense, missed, ignored”. It is up to the young to sit at the feet of the older generation and listen to these errors, to learn from the failures of the previous generations, not waiting for the failures and/or clean ups to be written in history books. In real time, it is imperative for “old agers” to do their own inner work, to admit their failure “to attain the high values we failed to sense”. Of course, we have to admit to our own self-interest in failing “to attain the high values” because we were more worried about optics, self-promotion, wealth, and power than in our inner life and adopted the “dog eat dog” mentality of societal norms. Then we can begin the work to repair our spiritual life, to repair the damage we have done to the inner and outer lives of those we impacted, change our ways of being so we can “attain the high values” we believe in and “teach our children” as the Bible instructs us to do both in Deuteronomy and in Proverbs.

What are the “high values”, the “insights”, the “wisdom” Rabbi Heschel is speaking about? I believe he is calling out to all of us to realize the myriad of times when we had the opportunity to “be human” we were not. Instead we were self-serving, self-centered, and selfish. We  bought into the lies of the people around us, the deceptions of societal norms and cliches, so we could ‘succeed’ and, in our “old age”, we are realizing the futility of our actions. While they may have brought us financial security, they have also wracked our inner life with anxiety, with loneliness, with a “hole in the soul”. I believe Rabbi Heschel is demanding we hear the call of the prophets; the 10 sayings at Mount Sinai; the 36 times we are told to care for the stranger, the poor, the needy, the widow, and the orphan; he is calling us out for not being true and acting on the “high values”, “insights” and “wisdom” found in the Bible, in history, and in the Declaration of Independence. Just because the Founding Fathers could not bring to fruition their acknowledgment of what should be doesn’t give us license to do the same. As Jewish wisdom teaches; “it isn’t our job to finish the job, neither are we free to not engage in the work”.

As we begin to celebrate our Independence, it is, I believe, crucial that we take stock of ourselves and our community, our country and our “high values”; see where we are on the continuum, make a decision to learn from people who we consider in “old age”, and repair their errors of ignoring their “insights”, pushing aside the “wisdom” of their elders, and failing to attain the “high values” they were taught. Rabbi Heschel’s words are a challenge to all people, old and young, to end the myriad of ways we fool ourselves into believing our lowest way of being is necessary and just ‘business as usual’ for humanity. They are calling us to raise our standard of living to match the stature we are imbued with just because we are human beings. So far, we have failed to answer the call-from Moses to the Prophets to Christ to Mohammed up till today-will we answer it today, will we achieve the Independence that was declared on July 4, 1776?

I am heartened by the teaching above because it means I am not a failure, I still have time to engage in the “high values”, “insights” and “wisdom” I have within me. I still have the opportunity to repair old damages and even see the ones I have repaired in a new light. I am using this time in my “old age” (which doesn’t feel old) to reach higher levels of being-not hold onto resentments, allow hurts to pass quicker, see how stuck some people are and hang out with people who help me grow and learn even more. I am using this time to honor my insights instead of allowing myself to be talked out of them, I don’t need people to agree with me, I know what I know and what I don’t know (which is a lot), I am willing to learn. I am reflecting on the wisdom I ignored and using it now to enhance each day while continuing to learn more. This is my actions  of Independence this day and every day. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 241

“People are anxious to save up financial means for old age; they should also be anxious to prepare a spiritual income for old age.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 79)

Continuing to delve into Rabbi Heschel’s talk at the 1961 White House Conference on Aging, I am struck with the words above. In 1961, the average lifespan was 69-70 years old and “retirement” age was 65. Old age was thought of when people turned 60ish, I believe. Today, the average lifespan is 80+ years and old age is thought of when people turn 80. “To save up financial means for old age” is a lot harder/different now than it was when this paper was delivered, and the need “to prepare a spiritual income for old age” is as important, if not more important now than in January of 1961.

The decline in humanity understanding, appreciating, and responding to the need for “spiritual income” seems to correspond with the decline in moral principles being the guiding light of our actions. “Justice for all” being turned into different ‘justice’ for people based on their socio-economic status and whom they know, and our forgetting what the 1930’s and 1940’s were like here and abroad as well as forgetting the cultural settings of every authoritarian takeover, be it royalty or despot, throughout history. We are witnessing the same rhetoric, in one way or another, we are witnessing similar thoughts and actions being taken and/or promised, we are witnessing the takeover of our Justice System by right-wing ‘christian nationalists’, we are witnessing the concern for the rich, the famous, the corporations-not the ‘man in the street’.

Our system has become so lopsided ‘regular’ people are unable to afford “to save up financial means for old age” and have to rely on Social Security which the right-wing wants to end! We aer witnessing a degradation of some older adults by the very people who claim to “live by the 10 Commandments” as Mike Johnson likes to purport. The anxiety caused by our tilted economic system is palpable and, to the chagrin of this writer, some of the people most affected, most anxious are believing the people who are causing this anxiety are going to help them-much like Germans thought Hitler would restore Germany to glory, there are people supporting the haters, the bullies, the liars, the thieves who are proclaiming their allegiance to Jesus and belief in ‘good christian values’! OY, what a mess we have made of our financial anxiety, how well we have turned peoples’ financial fears into hatred, into them going against their best interests, and they have turned their powerlessness into slavery rather than freedom.

This is happening again/still, I believe, because we have not been “anxious to prepare a spiritual income for old age.” This preparation is done in the days of our ‘youth’, in the decades of growing into the wisdom age and experience brings us. This preparation includes meditation, prayer, study, community service, etc. It is a conscious decision to stop denying our errors of judgement and missing the mark of our actions. The decades prior to “old age”, as I am hearing Rabbi Heschel this morning, need to be spent in preparing both for our financial security in “old age” to the best of our ability AND preparing/growing our inner life so we face aging with dignity and grace, with kindness and  concern, with service and asking for help when needed-all without shame, without guilt, and with connection and truth and love. Living this way eliminates the need to deceive oneself into believing the liars and cheats, the thieves and power-hungry actually have any concern for anyone but themselves. Living this way imbues people with a sense of Justice that, while blind, isn’t deaf and dumb.

We “prepare a spiritual income for old age” in many different ways and they all have similar ingredients: self-reflection, seeing where we “hit the mark” and where we “missed the mark”, preparing any damage we have wrought by “missing the mark”, growing our awareness and knowledge through these actions. We “prepare a spiritual income for old age” by deepening our inner knowledge, hearing it better and trusting it more. We sit with a spiritual guide and spiritual friends to have our souls reflected back to us and to reflect the souls of another(s) back to them. We join a community of people seeking a better life, a life of meaning and purpose, a life of safety and security in knowing; together we will face everything and live through it all. We engage throughout our teens - “old age” with ideas and thoughts, looking at what we can learn from them, how our experience or the experiences of our people have shown us which ones to pursue and which ones lead us back to destruction, to slavery. We continue to engage our “higher consciousness” and our souls to enlighten our living and to light the way forward-knowing we always need help and we are never the smartest one in the room and if we are, we have to find a new room.

This preparation of “a spiritual income for old age” is not a panacea, it is the only defense I have found to balance the hurt and bereft feeling one has when “old age” comes and one is relegated to the dust bin. I have spent the last four years dealing with what comes when one is told -thanks for your service, now get the fuck out-in my case, I freely admit I prompted this reaction, and it was a shock that my spiritual bank account didn’t have enough in it to cover this error I made. What I have come to realize, especially in light of the quote above, is my spiritual bank account is for me alone-it isn’t for someone else to withdraw from, it doesn’t cover the losses someone else experiences, it covers the losses I experience from my actions and the actions of another(s). My “spiritual income” hasn’t stopped and my bank account keeps growing because I keep learning. This is the preparation I am grateful I took in my ‘younger years’. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 240

“What a person lives by is not only a sense of belonging but also a sense of indebtedness. The need to be needed corresponds to a fact: something is asked of man, of every man.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.78)

Rabbi Heschel is reminding us of one of the foundational aspects of being human; “the need to be needed”. Every human being has this need and it is built into our spiritual DNA and our emotional DNA and possibly our physical DNA. No one wants to nor can one thrive without fulfilling this basic need which leads to both great connections and phony ones. Every con that has ever succeeded has this element to it, either the ‘mark’ is the one being needed or he/she is the one who needs. Every scammer, every con person, be they business ‘leaders’, politicians, criminals, and/or everyday people seeking connection, plays on “the need to be needed” that another has, they are so convincing because the con also has “the need to be needed” as well, so the con man/woman is most convincing because they are acting from a true need/desire only bastardizing it for their own selfishness, not for the sake of the person(s) they are conning. We see this in the political life of many politicians, aka Trump and his minions, McCarthy and his henchmen like Roy Cohn, we are even seeing this in the horrific decisions of this Supreme Court-giving the Presidency almost absolute powers going against the letter and the spirit of the founding fathers who did not want another king! These con artists wrap themselves in the cloaks of caring for truth, justice and the American Way while actually playing to an audience of wealthy benefactors who want absolute power so their need to be needed is fulfilled by their cruelty and their beneficence depending on their whim on any particular day. Be it the ‘religious’ right in America and/or in Israel, Iran, Saudi Arabia, be it the despots like Orban and/or Putin et al, Clarence Thomas, Sam Alito, et al on the court, they share “the need to be needed” as a birthright to do as they please because their needs supersede any one else’s.

This, of course, is not what Rabbi Heschel is speaking about, nor is it what any spiritual discipline means because all spiritual disciplines believe we all have “the need to be needed.” Without the second half of the sentence above, we have the recipe for disaster that has happened before and could be happening right now. Yet, we can change the course we seem to be traveling on when we accept the second half of the sentence above; when we commit to find what the “something is ask of man, every man”. When we are willing to let go of our selfish desires, when we are willing to explore our inner life and seek spiritual guidance, we can find our “ikigai” as the Japanese say; our “raison d’être” as the French say, the “ikar” of our life, the reason we are born. We need to search our souls and reach out to community to find the corner of the garden we call life so we can find the patch we are needed to sow and to reap. This is wisdom we learn from Hasidism, from the Desert Fathers, from the Buddha, etc. What makes us feel so lonely is when we are engaged in a futile search fo our “ikigai”, when we believe that our age (too young or too old) precludes us from finding it, when we deny what is in our being for riches, fame, power, etc. When our “need to be needed” is out of proper measure, when it is overpowered by self-deception and/or the deception of others, we will stay mired in emotional distress and anger, spiritual illness and seek to fill the “hole in our soul” with a myriad of substances and behaviors that temporarily ‘fix’ the malady we are suffering from. Of course after this temporary fix, the malady comes roaring back greater and the cycle begins again and again.

There is a solution to the spiritual malady caused by not know what the “something is asked” is. The solution is to acknowledge we don’t know, go out on a discovery mission that is similar to Abraham’s going “to a place I will show you”, to Columbus’ journey to the New World, America’s Mission to the Moon, etc. We are being called to find the unique gift/talent inside of us that makes us so important and valuable that the world doesn’t work as well without us in our proper place. We are in the solution when we realize that we are powerless over so much that happens around us and we have the power to respond to what is with a higher purpose. We are in the solution when we seek to understand, hear and listen to our inner life; Shema. We are in the solution when we are willing to wrestle with the mixed messages of our higher/earthly inclinations; Yisrael. When we are willing to admit we are not the end all/be all; Adonai Eloheynu. We are in the solution and find our place when we join and connect with community and family and live our place in the oneness of life, of the world, of the creator; Adonai Echad. When we live into the Shema prayer, we are in the solution of responding to the “something is asked of man” and experience the fulfillment of our “need to be needed”.

I had no idea where this writing today, or any day, would lead me. I am in awe of the power of “words from the heart go to the heart” as Maimonidies says. I sought being “needed” in all the wrong places for much of my early life and where I was “needed”, many times I ran away from. I am so sorry to family, friends, community that I harmed with my running and with my conning. While I have made amends before, I keep realizing the depth of my harms differently as I deepen my understanding of life and my place in it. I am grateful that I have lived into the Shema prayer, as I have outlined it above, more each day/year. I am also realizing the self-deception of my thoughts of not being “needed” anymore and how this was a false ego decision rather than a soul knowing. It is an example of how falseness creeps into our minds and hearts blocking the truth of our souls from reaching us. Only through the Shema do I get to an authentic awareness of fulfilling my “need to be needed” in a healthy, holy manner. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path to Spiritual Health

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 239

“What a person lives by is not only a sense of belonging but also a sense of indebtedness. The need to be needed corresponds to a fact: something is asked of many, of every man.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.78)

The teaching above seems to have been abandoned in the modern world and many humans ask: “what’s in it for me”. Also, so many of us have been taught to “fit in” rather than belong we are having to relearn the truth that we all belong, as Brene Brown teaches. We are living in an age of entitlement rather than “indebtedness”, an age of deception and deceit rather than belonging and being authentic. We are desperately in need of relearning Rabbi Heschel’s and all spiritual disciplines’ teaching as stated above.

Our first challenge is to accept that we belong! We belong not because of our wealth, not because of our wit, our brain power, our superiority, our socio-economic status. No, we belong because we are human beings who struggle to be human and tame the desire for revenge, for our more animalistic inclinations. We belong just because we are right here, right now; and we all have something to contribute to making our corner of the world a little better than when we found it. We all need to accept not only that we belong, we have to embrace the truth that everyone belongs, there is no application for admittance to belonging to humanity, there is no one who can blackball anyone else from belonging to the human race, even though there are people who think they can separate ‘those people’ from us ‘good people’ and ‘those jews and muslims’ from ‘us good christian folk’. There are even people in our government, as there always has been, who want to disqualify people in need from entering-remember the ship the St. Louis and our current border issues- and people running for office who are proclaiming how they will not defend the constitution and/or the country “from enemies foreign and domestic” because they are the domestic terrorists-even on our Supreme Court! Until we, as a society, accept that everyone belongs to the human race, that all people have infinite and unique dignity and worth, the rest of the actions described above will never come to fruition.

“A sense of indebtedness” is anathema to our current culture. When one of the candidates for President goes around telling everyone how he is entitled to a different system of justice-one in which he is never guilty, when the same person keeps grifting money from his supporters who he constantly lies to, when the same human being continues to exclude decency and truth, loyalty and kindness from his ‘platform’, we are in danger of losing our “sense of indebtedness”. Public servants like Dr. Fauci are viscerated in our Congress for telling the truth, when some elected officials are only interested in serving their ‘supreme leader’ like the current Speaker of the House, Gaetz, Greene, Vance, Rubio, Cruz, and the rest of the Lindsey Graham types in Congress, we see that entitlement rather than “indebtedness” is the order of the day. We see this in business, in countries across the globe, in our families and in our history. The only “sense of indebtedness” that is talked about is the “indebtedness” owed to the ‘supreme leader’, to the authoritarian presence that is controlling the lives of her/his followers and has convinced people that if they want to belong, they have to be in debt to him/her. Rather than owing the world, owing the Creator, some of humanity has been fooled, conned into believing they only owe the authoritarian. How sad and dangerous!!

We can, however, reawaken our “sense of indebtedness” to something greater than ourselves-be it God, higher consciousness, community, etc. We do this by going back to basics-remembering who we are, recovering our passion for living well and discovering the unique purpose we are created to fulfill. We have to engage in mediation, study, practice, and deeds. We need to “act our way into right thinking” as the Big Book of AA reminds us. We have to make a commitment to following a path of living that honors our dignity and the dignity of everyone. We have to have “one law for the citizen and stranger alike” so there is only righteous justice practiced in our land. We need to return to “love your neighbor as you love yourself” which means we have to truly see our beauty and our goodness and have a practice of self-love that is not narcissistic, that recognizes our own value and dignity so we don’t tarnish ourselves by following the deception of another(s) nor our own self-deceptions. We need to see what we add to the world around us, see everyone as equal in value and how we need them to live their unique lives so we can live ours. Competition and comparisons that are personal fall away and we see how we can use them to grow our own spirit and our dignity. As a friend of mine, Glenn Goss, z”l, and I agreed: we are alive, we have been given another opportunity at life, we owe!

My “sense of indebtedness” has grown over these past 35+ years. In fact, the more I learn, the more I owe. I keep paying back and there are days when I am sure that the most I achieve is to pay the interest on the note and there are other days where I am hopeful that I have paid back some of the principle. However, this debt is not crushing me anymore, it did when I was adding to the debt, adding to the misery of the people around me, now, it just reminds me I still have more to give, more to offer, more to do. This is an exhilarating experience, it gives me hope and purpose, joy and a path. I am not entitled to anything other than to enjoy my achievements for what they were/are and use them to keep going, to keep forgiving myself for my errors, keep asking for forgiveness from another(s) and keep letting go of resentments and understanding how stuck those who have hurt me and are unable to do T’Shuvah are. I am so indebted that I can’t even hate them nor be angry with them. I too have been and still get that stuck. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Immersing Ourselves in Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 238

“To attain a sense of significance being we must learn to be involved in thoughts that are ahead of what we already comprehend, to be involved in deeds that will generate higher motivations.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 77)

I wrote about the first part of this sentence on Friday, today I want to engage with the second part. In modernity many of us have lost our sense of meaning because, I believe, today’s society rewards the actions of those who ‘make it’, those who are ‘rich, therefore smart’, and those who give us the ‘latest, coolest, etc’. The long view, seeing where we have come from, where we are and where we are heading is only useful for our individual socio-economic benefit as we witness with rich people throwing money at political candidates who worship the way Russia, Hungary, Saudi Arabia works-authoritarianism and cronyism. We are witnessing the worship of a candidate who is the anti-christ, a bully who folds when confronted with truth in a courtroom where he cannot lie. Yet, these ‘good religious, god-fearing folk’ claim “to be involved in deeds that will generate higher motivations”-the height of self-deception!

As we age, many of us, according to Erickson’s stages of psychosocial development, we move from mistrust/trust to Intimacy/isolation to generatively/stagnation and, finally, to Integrity/despair. In infancy, we learn to trust or mistrust,  from 18-40 we learn either to be in truth with ourselves and another(s) so we can have an intimacy that is more than physical and from there we grown into either giving to those around us, giving to those less fortunate, ‘succeeding’ at work by having meaning and purpose or being stuck in our own self, making money rather than community, self is #1, etc. Finally, at over 65 according to Erickson, we reflect on what we have created, achieved, and we can be satisfied with what we have added to the world, or we can be despairing over the ‘inequality’, ‘unlucky’ ways we have been treated, we can realize our selfishness has left us alone and lonely and we have lived by the adage: “life is hard and then you die”.

The only path to the more positive ways of being from our teenage years of finding our identity or being confused through the stages above is through “deeds that will generate higher motivations.” There are so many stories and case studies of people who were mistrustful of adults because they were never seen nor heard, where kids felt like they could not be themselves because their parents depended on the kids to make the parents feel good, kids who grew up with shame/doubt, guilt and inferiority because they were smarter than their parents, kinder than their parents and they overcame these early wounds and traumas to become the adults, the parents that they wanted for themselves. These types of changes are due to taking actions that motivate us to do more, that teach us how much is possible and we are capable and able to build a life from the ashes of a terrible childhood. For those of us who are helping people who have suffered traumatic events and then kept engaging in risky, inappropriate behaviors that helped to continue the downward spiral their upbringing began, we know that “acting one’s way into right thinking” is the best prescription for change! While therapist and psychiatrists want us to believe that talk therapy is the way, we have witnessed people being in therapy for years and years with not too much progress because they are more interested in the past rather than the present and the future. When all we do is talk about shit that happened, we are more prone to repeat the same situations over and over again.

The prescription Rabbi Heschel gives us changes us-full stop! From the Rabbis to Christ, from Mohammed to the Sufi Mystics, from the Buddha to the Dalai Lama, from the Baal Shem to today, we know that “faith without works is dead”, taking actions which raise our consciousness are crucial to our inner growth, to healing the traumas our inner life has suffered, and to making our spiritual growth possible. During our formative years, without “being involved in deeds that will generate higher motivations” we sink into narcissistic behaviors and thinking, we become more selfish and more about ‘what’s in it for me’, etc. Without doing things that motivate us to grow and reach higher, we will see only this moment and not care about what comes next thinking we are insulated from danger or destruction because of our ‘success’, our money, our ‘friends in high places’ and the real danger for which we have no defense is when we reflect on our lives an see how little we have added to the world, how selfish we have been and how much shame/doubt we have lived in.

For younger people, take note of the despair those of us ‘of a certain age’ experience because we did not engage the positive aspects of the stages listed above, see how you can change, through your deeds, your ‘fate’. For those of us ‘of a certain age’, it is not too late to add to the word, it is not too late to generate goodness and safe relationships, it is not to late to repair the damage we have wrought. It takes an honest appraisal of our life so far and it takes the willingness to admit our errors, repair them and figure out how to use them to help another rather than help ourselves.

The second half of Rabbi Heschel’s words above have been the path for my change. I look back now with some regrets and no resentments, and most of all joy and satisfaction. I have pride in the deeds I did, for the most part, and I am satisfied with what I have contributed to the world. I am also grateful for the loving relationships that I am a part of and that my true identity and self is always evolving and growing without fear of being seen by another. I am still involved in deeds which generate higher motivations as we speak and I know I have to be in order to continue my spiritual growth. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings- A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 237

“To attain a sense of significance being we must learn to be involved in thoughts that are ahead of what we already comprehend, to be involved in deeds that will generate higher motivations.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 77)

This week, Jews around the world will read from the Book of Numbers about the spies sent to scout out the “promised land” and while the Hebrew is usually translated as God said to send them out, it could also be that God just gives into Moses’ haranguing and tells him “send for yourself”. This week’s Torah Reading also is where the spies say “we looked like grasshoppers in our eyes so too we must have in theirs”.  Both of these instances are examples of not learning “to be involved in thoughts of what we already comprehend”. They are examples of how insignificant we think of ourselves at times. Even the narcissist is not “involved in thoughts that are ahead” of what he already understands. We are being called out here and shown examples of how difficult attaining “a sense of significant being is” when we are unable to rise above our pettiness and pride, our envy and enmity.

Learning from the Torah portion, realizing our own psychological needs, applies to people of all ages, just as a need for “a sense of significant being” is with everyone at all ages. Yet, we continue to fall short of this need, we continue to mask it with the trappings of wealth, the trappings of opulence, the lies we tell ourselves and our endless climb ‘up the ladder’. We are witnessing the fruits of our failures “to attain a sense of significant being” in the ways we believe the lies of the authoritarians, the ways we have loyalty to people who are disloyal to principles of freedom, truth, justice, kindness, love, etc, the ways we continue to be restless in our ‘free time’, our driven nature to be #1, and our continuing ways of seeing “grasshoppers” being reflected back to us every time we look in the mirror.

Staying stuck in the thoughts we already comprehend is the road to perdition, the ways humanity stays stale. We mask our stickiness with technology, with the ‘newest fad’, the shiniest discovery, etc. We believe we can have “a sense of significant being” vicariously thorough he few that are “involved in thoughts that are ahead of what” they already comprehend. Yet, even many innovators get stuck in their own creations and forget to move beyond their latest discovery because there is money and prestige in continuing to say the same ‘discovery’ over and over again. It takes courage to lift ourselves out of the quicksand of being stuck in the thoughts we already comprehend, because it is easier to deceive ourselves that this way is grounding instead of pulling us down. In every generation there are those who are able to rise above the quicksand and when they begin to recruit more and more people to seek to find their own “sense of significant being”, they are usually decimated by some portion of society that is afraid of equality, afraid of equity, afraid of “proclaim freedom throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein”. We have seen in the past 65 years the assassinations of John and Bobby Kennedy, Medger Evers, Malcom X, Martin Luther King, Yitzchak Rabin, and so many more people who sought to help all of us see the significance of our beingness. Isn’t it time for us to stand up to these bullies, these fear-mongers, these Stalin.Hitler acolytes?

We, the people, are more than capable of living into our unique “sense of significant being”. We, the people, are denying this sense that lies in our souls and in higher consciousness to our psychological and spiritual detriments as well as causing untold physical ailments to ourselves. It is a truism that our body manifests our spiritual and psychological health and illness. Ergo, it is imperative for all of us to put an end to our denial of our need for significance, our need to be seen, our need to be “involved in thoughts that are ahead of what we already comprehend” so we keep growing our spiritual life, our psychological life and ensure the health of our physical body. We are not separate parts, we are an integrated whole, body, mind, spirit, and when any one of these parts is ill, our 3-legged stool tips over. We live into our unique “sense of significant being” when we let go of our old ideas, when we jump into the abyss of possibilities, leap into the arms of new thoughts and boldly go where no other human can-ahead of our own thoughts that are unique to us. We need the support and the grounding of our spiritual friends, our family and loved ones as well as being grounded in what we already know so we can go further. We need to support those around us who are engaged in the same journey. We welcome everyone who wants to join us, knowing their journey to the same end is different from our own and this is not a competition, rather it is our greatest endeavor of cooperation. Learning together, journeying together beyond what we already know while doing it on different planes and paths is the path of dignity, equality and uniqueness.

I have been involved in this process for most of my life. I mistakenly believed in my youth that crime would get me significance because I could make a lot of money. What I have learned in my recovery is money doesn’t buy an inner sense of significance, only going beyond myself does. I continue to read Torah, etc with new eyes, even though I am re-reading these texts for more than the second time. I continue to see how when I fought for significance, I lost it. I know the myriad of times I just was and just am which connects me to learning more and more than I comprehended and it takes a minute or two for me to immerse myself in the new understandings I gain each day. What I also realize is that many times people around me didn’t want to go on this journey with me and we stopped understanding one another and this is when relationships fractured and I am sad about this-both the fractures and my inability to realize the people were not on the same plane nor journey as me. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 236

“Old age often is an age of anguish and boredom. The only answer to such anguish is a sense of significant being. The sense of significant being is a thing of the spirit. Stunts, buffers, games, hobbies, slogans -all are evasions.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 77)

The last two sentences above have so much for all of us to learn from. Even though Rabbi Heschel is not saying anything new or revelatory, he is reminding all of us, no matter what our biological age is, that everyone needs to have a “sense of significant being” and all of us are in desperate need of growing, healing, and following our spiritual knowledge.

There is no amount of money, there is no career height, there is no substitute for knowing in our ‘guts’, in our soul that we are significant. This is not just based on what we do, it is internal, we are all born with a “sense of significant being” and our challenge throughout our life is to live into this sense more and more, reject society’s desire to beat it out of us, resist the methods used by parents and teachers to “be like everyone else” and seek out people who will help us grow this “sense” and not be deterred. It is, to a great degree, a single-minded quest, a quest of our spiritual nature and without following it, we do live in “anguish and boredom.”

We are all aware of the “stunts, buffers, games, hobbies, slogans” that society uses as “evasions” from our spirit’s quest for a “sense of significant being”. Why do people have to continue to amass more and more money? Why do people have to continue to be ‘in charge’ of a company, business, political party? What are people holding onto? It is, as I immerse myself in the words above, a desire to keep a “sense of significant being” even though it is a false sense! It is a false sense of significance because when we continue to amass things, when we continue to hide from our inner life, we are create falseness, we create images, we create deceptions that we portray outward and begin to believe inward. Humanity keeps trying to define itself by what it does rather than by who we are. We are partners in creation, be it with Nature, Higher Consciousness, God, Allah, Christ, is immaterial. All humans have a share, a responsibility, a need to partake in creating something-family, friendships, scientific breakthroughs, the cotton gin, distilled spirits, whatever. We all need this instinctively and, in some cases, without any idea where we are going, just that we are going. Like Abraham in the Bible, we all are “going to/for ourselves to a land I will show you”.

The “stunts, buffers, games, hobbies, slogans” that we use as “evasions” have diminished our sense of significance and our sense of self. We have become so enamored with these “evasions” that we believe they are the goal. “The one with the most toys wins” is a popular phrase and what does she/he win-more “anguish and boredom” because there is never enough to fill the “hole in the soul” that only a “sense of significant being” can fill. Hence the need for more and more distractions, money, power, and the intense need to hold on to it.

We have become afraid to face our authenticity. We seek to hide behind acts of goodness, charity, etc rather than face our selves, rather than engage in the spiritual growth necessary to nurture and grow the “sense of significant being” that we are born with and, in most families, ignored and told we are only as good as our worst action, only good when we are pleasing another or our false self. In older adults we see this when they are “forced into retirement” and they sit around mourning what they lost and believe they have no purpose nor significance any more. We see this in younger adults who believe they can never match the ‘achievements’ of their parents and have become “failures to launch”, entitled brats, and live at home, dreading their jobs and being angry just because. This is what helps people join causes and protests that go against their own self-interest, that spread lies and deceit, that leave them susceptible to authoritarians who promise “only I can fix it” when what is broken is the inner life, the spiritual health of the individual which the authoritarian doesn’t care about. We are in desperate need of renewing our “sense of significant being”, of engaging in our inner life and growing our spiritual health. We do this through daily introspection, be it prayer, gratitude, mediation, exercise, etc and any combination of these. We have to engage in the place inside of us that holds nothing but spirit and an opportunity to see who we are, what our “sense of significant being” is and how to live into it. This is the ‘work’ of every human being no matter what age.

I have been facing and failing, at times, at remembering that I have a “sense of significant being”. I am well aware that I have something to offer and I have rid myself of resentments because I don’t want to light up the addictive parts of my brain with grievances! I am not interested in what was, what happened, I am focusing on what is and what will be. I have learned the lessons of my past and, while not completely free, I am no longer tethered to everyone’s image of me, only to the image of the divine I have to reflect. I am using distractions less and less, I do like to binge-watch a fun series:), and I no longer need anyone to validate my “sense of significant being” as I am doing this more and more myself.  It is a hard road to face myself every day, to live in the space that is nothingness but spirit and me, ego and spirit, both my inclinations and how to manage them, and it is a glorious experience. I believe the move to psilocybin is to help people reach this place of nothing/everything and see their own “sense of significant being” because on their own too much shit is still in the way. I am grateful that I have “been to the mountain and see the Promiesd Land. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark